I just talked to Matt, he's waiting for a delayed flight. ugh. He's been gone on longer trips than this, but I'm pretty sure this has been the hardest. By far.
We did manage to have a lot of fun while we were in the city, and I am so grateful for sweet friends there - I do think that there is definitely a mental component to feeling cruddy. It's like a vicious cycle: I feel bad, so I lay down, so I have time to concentrate on how bad I feel, so I don't want to get up, so......
But when a friend sends a "headed to the pool, please try to come, it'll be fun" text message, and I know my kiddos would delight in a morning at the pool with their friends..... Well, I pull myself off the bed, throw the pool gear in a bag and off we go. And you know what, I felt better when I got there :)
(proof that we made it to the pool... so I wasn't feeling good enough to take too many pics, but one is better than none, I guess).
It's also been a lesson in "if this qualifies as 'hard' life, then you live a pretty cushy life, Laura". I mean, seriously.
My dear cousin Julie's husband is deployed for ONE year, she and her three little kiddos are finishing up his two week home leave and saying goodbye again for MONTHS! It would take years for Matt's travel schedule to add up to 365 nights away from home!
The average monthly salary in Afghanistan is 14 USD, I spent that on take-out!!!! (Can you even fathom 14 dollars a month? And while I'm sure the cost of living is cheaper in Afghanistan than wherever it is that you and I live, I am doubly-sure that 14 dollars doesn't buy enough.)
Sick while (because?) I'm carrying the life of a newly created child has got to be one of the "best possible reasons" to be sick. I mean, it's a heck of a lot better than just about any other reason I can think of.
So I'm grateful. Grateful that Matt is coming home. Grateful that tomorrow morning when little footsteps come scampering into my bedroom I'll rest easy knowing Matt will be the one putting bread in the toaster. Grateful to be carrying the life of one child, while I teary-eyed watch youtube adoption videos and dream of God adding yet another to our family.
Grateful that, above all else, I know Jesus.
He is good. He is wise. He is sovereign.
5 comments:
Even in pregnancy sickness, it was a struggle for me to be grateful. I felt so close to death, seriously. It is a strange thing. I think it is good even just to say and write how grateful we are and sometimes that can help our minds. :) It will end...as you know! And I'm glad Matt is on his way back!
Laura , Thanks for your post and perspective. We are so blessed, and don't recognize the blessings we have.
We are keeping you and your family (also Julie's) in our prayers. I hope your start feeling better soon!
U Mark
Hang in there, this to shall pass!
Love, Susan
love you friend. Thanks for your honesty. Praying for you and thinking of you lying in your bed right now while matt is up taking care of little ones so you can rest.
So glad you've made it to the end of this stint of Matt being gone, and for your perspective through it all. Thanks for sharing that with us. Love you and hope you can get some rest now and that you feel better soon! And you're right, being sick because of a precious little life growing inside of you is the best reason to be sick I could ever think of! When I struggled with fear and sickness while I was pregnant with Jonah, a friend said that every day of that baby's life, whether in or outside me, deserved to be celebrated because that baby was God's creation - that helped me! Love you!
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