how is he doing?

I wish I knew "how John Paul was doing".  I mean, I guess in a sense I do know - I am with him almost every hour of the day, I can tell you what he is actually doing, and how he seems to be doing, and what I perceive his adjustment to be.... but I've never walked this road before and I'm not really sure what my baseline comparison point should be and I can read gobs and gobs about adoption but in the end every child's personality is different, their background is different, and their adoptive family is different..... so in the end, well, our story is different.

I think he is doing okay.  He seems comfortable in our home.  He is often looking for Matt or for me.  He happily runs back and forth between the two of us.  He loves to follow his big siblings around and keeps me on my toes with his adventurous spirit and toddler antics.

I'm learning to keep my ears open for the distinctive sound of 19 month old bare feet running across hardwood floors towards the bathroom door that was (accidentally) left open.  [Without doubt John Paul thinks the most entertaining room in our entire apartment is the bathroom.  I think he cannot for the life of him figure out why we try to keep him away from such fun.  I'm sure his foster home did not have a toilet (but rather a squat hole floor type thing).  He probably thinks we have triple water fun - the toilet, the sink, the bathtub - all in one room and for some odd reason just won't let him at it!]

Anyways, he plays happily, actively, most of the time.

But there are also some things that leave us scratching our heads.  Or wondering what he's thinking and feeling.  Or concerned for his heart.

He is very affectionate and out-going.  Nothing wrong with that.  But yesterday he ran, arms upturned, asking to be held, straight towards our upstairs neighbor - a man he had never even seen before.  Ummmmm, not okay John Paul.  Obviously he has a lot to learn about a family, and the difference between "family" and "not-family".

This morning we had good friends over to our house and he turned a bit whiny, clingy.... not his usual self (though he eventually kind of found his groove, but the first hour he was definitely out of sorts).

We took him to McDonalds (everyone was a little stir-crazy and there's no time like the present to introduce french fries and ice cream cones, right?)  As soon as we walked in he grabbed tight onto my neck and buried his face.  He just gets unsettled by new things - and wanted to stick close with me.

Half an hour later he offered the (gross) soggy remnants of his ice cream cone to a total stranger.  (She, wisely, declined.)  

I remind myself that we are very early in this process.  And I'm grateful that he's here with us.  And we can start loving him into our family.  And I love how sweet he is, how much he does truly seem to enjoy being with us, how he has latched on to me and to Matt, how he is learning to trust us.  

I took this series of pictures tonight.  I think it captures well his activity level (ummm, very very active) and his love of fun (lots of love for fun) and his wide-open, all-out personality.

He climbed into this plastic tub then quickly crawled right back out. 

 ..... started pushing it across the carpet towards Matt....

.... decided pushing was too slow, picked it up and took off at a brisk trot......

.... plopped it on the floor in front of Matt and climbed in, waiting for a ride.....

and Matt obliged.  (John Paul has played this game many times with his older siblings who are always ready to push him around the house.)

And one last shot.... running towards me, big smile on his face, ready for whatever fun might be headed his way. 

He really is quite irresistible. 

And he has a lot to learn.  We all do.  I've never done this before, and neither has he.   But we'll figure it out, one day at a time.  Please pray for him, and for us.   

Matt starts back to work full-time tomorrow (Monday) morning.  He worked part-time last week, but this will still be a big adjustment.  He'll work Monday through Thursday then travel Friday morning til Sunday night.... it's a long stretch for me, my first big one with all five kiddos.  My parents are here (back from their trip) and tremendous help, so that's a huge blessing.  But I'll need lots and lots of wisdom and grace to do these days well.