by a thread

So the last few days have been tricky.... Matt got food poisoning (??) and did not leave the bedroom for about 24 hours.  Today he was slightly better, still weak and stuck to the bed.  In our entire marriage I've seen him this sick only a few other times. 

That put quite a bit on me, especially mornings and evenings - try running the bedtime routine with an infant and newly adopted toddler - the former who apparently doesn't believe in sleep, the later who is constantly finding new ways to make Mommy sprint across the living room and rescue him from another close call (this evening John Paul got the cooking oil out of the food cabinet and was toting it across the apartment - thankfully the "easy pop open lid" did not pop open mid journey.  And yes, I have a way to close the cabinet so he cannot get into it but apparently during the dinner prep it got opened and not re-locked.) 

When John Paul is not rushing for the open bathroom door or drinking rain water from a bucket he found in our courtyard or licking rocks he picked up on a walk or eating a stray crayon he found under the couch he's looking for me.  This, I realize, is great for our attachment.  He really really wants to be with me.  He wants me to be near him.  He does not want me to run inside for twenty-two brief seconds while he is playing in the courtyard. 

But he's a busy boy and I am busy keeping up with him.  And Luke.  And Julianna and Lydia and Isaac! 

So many blessings, but on days like this I wonder if I'm cut out for this!  I know, I know.  The first weeks are full of adjustment for everyone.  But these last two days have been hard.

And did I mention our washing machine broke?  (this is the third broken appliance we've dealt with in as many weeks! argh!)  Seven people and no washing machine does not make a funny story.  So I literally "ran out one night and bought a new one".  Just like you might run out for a quick grocery or two.

We did about ten minutes of research online.  But the big online sellers were all out of stock.  So off I went.  Good news is there were only 400 models to choose from.  Ha!  I called Matt three different times from the sales floor and then swiped the credit card.  It's ours. 

Better news?  The washer is 40% larger than our old model (which was teensy).  And it arrived in a big cardboard box. 

Still, I'm pretty sure

1. replace a major appliance
2. put sick husband/daddy in bed for 48 hours
3. wake tired Mommy six different times last night

does not fit the how-to-book version of "How to have a smooth first weeks home with your newly adopted child".

And there is grace to cover all this.  All the ways I mis-handle situations.  All the times I turn to another child and say "sorry, I can't _____________ (read with, play with, sing with) you right now".  All the frustrations and junk and all that.

I am in way over my head.  And you know what?  That's a good thing.  Because if I run this show on my own strength and in my own wisdom then I get all the credit.

But if we make it through these weeks and months and years ..... It's Jesus who gets the credit.

I'm exhausted.  Off to snack on a cold watermelon and hit the pillow!