"when you eat at home....

... you leave your bowl on the table."

As if learning basic table manners wasn't tough enough already... we're starting to realize the complex task of teaching TWO kinds of table manners: the local version of the rules, and the western version of the rules.

Of course, there are the obvious differences. Chopsticks or fork? Plate or bowl? All dipping into and eating from the same dishes, or dishing a serving onto your plate and eating your own separate helping?

But those are easier to solve (though Julianna does have a pair of kid-friendly chopsticks and she's used them to eat everything from fried rice to lasagna!)

The one that seems to cause the most problems around here is the ever-tricky "when is it appropriate to pick up your bowl, lift it level with your bottom lip, and shovel your food in?"

At school (where Julianna eats lunch twice a week) her teachers actually encourage this behavior - what better way to guarantee 3 year olds can get their rice successfully in their mouths and not on the floor? Plus, it's pretty much appropriate in many other situations - adults, children, at home, at restaurants.... when you need to get those pesky last grains of rice from your bowl into your mouth just pick up the bowl and use your chopsticks like a shovel! Hey, it works.

But, you know, it's just not my thing. I just don't like looking across the table to see my girls with bowls to lips, scooping up the last bits of soup and shoveling them in.

So we get "I know this is confusing, but when you eat at home, you leave your bowl on the table. At school it's ok. When we eat out (at some, not all) restaurants, it's ok. At home, when we eat Asian food, it's ok. But at home, when we are eating western food, you must leave your bowl on the table."

Do you think I should just give up?

And hope that the next time we are in the States the strangers at the restaurant table across from us will quickly jump to the conclusion that our kids are clearly navigating the tricky waters of a multi-cultural childhood and that explains their terrible table manners?