what goodbye looks like

Monday night we hosted some dear friends for the last time.  These shu shus and ayis (uncles and aunts) don't get much blog time (for several compelling reasons) but are nonetheless a really big part of our lives. 

They love us and our children so very well and bless us in uncountable ways.  Oh how grateful I am for the many times they have stood up from the dinner table and asked "can we give the kids a bath?"  The girls squeal in delight and run for the bathroom.  Baths supervised by the ayis (aunties) are, apparently, infinitely more fun than baths supervised by Daddy.  

Some of these friends will be with us next spring, but not all of them.  Monday night after baths and Bible time it was time for one last hug. 

So many people to say goodbye to, and so many welcoming hellos waiting at the other end of the journey.   I feel like my heart lives on both sides of the ocean. 

counting the days

This is one of those weeks where so much happens every day it's hard to know what to write on the blog, and when to sit down and write it :)  But I also don't want to forget these days.... so I hope to get as much on here as I can.

A few days ago I drew some flowers on our living room windows - each flower represents one day we have left here in our apartment and we color in the flowers as the days pass by.  (Admittedly, coloring flowers is not a very masculine exercise but Isaac could care less about the flowers and can't count days, so I figured it was ok.)

It's been really helpful for the girls, and we now mark days by flowers.  The tall yellow flower is Julianna's going-away party at school.  The fat pink flower is the day we pack our suitcases.  One of the ones right smack in the middle is Julianna's 4 and a half birthday :)

Speaking of packing for America, the girls are in charge of packing their treasure shelves and their clothing.  Clothing should be no problem, I've already cleared out their drawers and everything that remains is going to America, so they have a lot of freedom as they choose :)  And what they don't choose, well, I'll toss that in too. 

The treasure shelves are another story.  For Christmas this year we gave each girl a shelf to hang above her bed, as a place to store "treasures".  The gifts were a huge hit, they love their treasures and they love keeping them in such a special place.  No one is allowed to take anything from someone else's shelf, so it's a fun way for them to each have a special place of their own. 

Problem is, little girl treasures are mostly junk.  I don't have a lot of compassion for junk, and I certainly don't plan on transporting it half way around the world next week.  I'm thinking I'll give each of them a large ziploc bag.... whatever treasures they can fit in the bag go with us to America, the others will be on the moving truck headed north. 

This afternoon we go pick up the special gifts we bought for each of Julianna's classmates.  Matt had a really cool idea, and I think they are going to be great.  Gift giving is a really big part of this culture and I am excited to watch Julianna give them to her classmates at the party (tomorrow morning).  Pictures and stories to come.....

the Sunday night photos

Here's a sampling of the photos from Julianna's 'show' on Sunday night.... she probably spent at least 45 minutes running back and forth from the living room to the dress up clothes. 

Julianna hadn't even gotten through the entire dress up basket when we stopped for dinner. 

Did I mention Lydia wasn't as enamored with the whole activity?

T minus (how many?) days

We are in the final countdown til leaving for the States.  So many mixed emotions that its hard to know what to feel at any given moment. 

Our housing for next year is finally official (well, 99% official, there are still a few more details to nail down).  We have signed a contract on a first floor three bedroom place in the perfect neighborhood.  Pretty exciting!  

Packers/movers come next Sunday/Monday to pack our stuff and truck it to our new location.  Our things will remain in storage until early August when the new apartment is ready and the relocation company moves it in for us.  I'll see it all - the apartment, with our stuff in it - for the first time next February :)  Kind of weird.  

Our family moves downtown into a friend's apartment this Saturday.... we'll be living there temporarily while our apartment gets packed and we finalize returning this place to the owner.  Sooooo, it's our last week here in our beloved little town.   It'll be a big one :)  

Today it rained all. day. long.  Matt left in the late afternoon for a work thing he needed to do which left me and three stir crazy kids here in the apartment.  I convinced Julianna to attempt to wear every single piece of dress up clothing and let me take photos as a way to remember all the pink frills, since we're not taking it to the US with us.  Worked great as a diversion for her, but Lydia wasn't as interested :(   I got some great pics, which will have to wait for another day thanks to maddeningly slow internet tonight. 

Earlier this afternoon an airplane took off into the rain clouds, carrying our dear friends and their gazillion pounds of luggage.  I miss them already. 

After dinner the rain slowed to a drizzle and we headed out for a walk.  Unfortunately, the rain picked up speed and we all had some good umbrella practice.  Oh well.  

All in all, I wouldn't list this as one of my best days.  Betcha tomorrow will be better :) 

one more thing to love....

about hand-me-down clothing.

Probably 80% of our kids clothing comes to us courtesy of my cousin Julie and her two (soon to be three!) children.  Julie's daughter Caroline is one year older than Julianna, and her son Will is two years older than Isaac.  Works just about perfect for our family. 

There are MANY things to love about hand me down clothes.  It saves tons of money and effort.... I can't imagine how many thousands of dollars and hours of clothing shopping Julie's gracious sharing has saved me.  I also love that hand me down clothing is "risk free".  I never worry about markers or mud or macaroni ruining a brand new outfit :)  

But without a doubt my absolute favorite thing about hand me downs is the history!  I just really enjoy watching my kids run around in clothes that my cousin Julie's kids ran around in last summer.  Sure, they live thousands of miles away, but the clothes are a big link between our two families.  

I wonder which bathing suit was Caroline's favorite the summer she was 3 years old.  I pull a shirt over Isaac's head and think about Julie doing the exact same thing with the exact same shirt with her son just a few years ago.  It makes it feel like her family isn't so far away. 

And every now and then we get something with a tag like this...

Marie, whom my girls refer to as "Caroline's Grandma", made this for  Caroline who-knows-how-many summers ago.  Last summer it was Julianna's, and this summer it is quickly becoming one of Lydia's favorite sundresses. 

Pretty special, isn't it?  

And speaking of history, check out this photo of me and Julie with my Granddaddy taken just a few summers ago .... or maybe more like 25 summers ago :)

Lydia's hair remind you of anyone?!?!?

putt putt part two

So the night at mini golf was seriously one of the most fun things I've done in a while.  Maybe I don't get out much (true true) but that particular group of friends on that particular night was just a blast!  

One of the best parts was sharing the evening with our dear friends Andy and Erin Ashley who move to America at the end of this week.   Words cannot express how deeply we will miss their friendship.  In honor of (one of our last) nights together, I picked out a few of my favorite pictures from the evening.  

Andy won the first course, and was crowned "king of mini golf" (don't miss the crown on his head). 

Then Matt pulled out a win on the second course so Andy crowned Matt (a la Miss America).  

Neither EA or I won the crown, or any of the other prizes from that night, but like most anything we do together, we had a ton of fun.  

Today as I write they are packing up their apartment.  One moving truck has already come and gone.  I've already seen their children for the last time.  It's hard to believe our years together out here in our little suburb community are coming to an end. 

There have been moments of intense joy, and moments of intense pain.  And no one we would have rather journeyed with than these sweet friends.  Orlando Florida will soon be home to one amazing family.  I envy their future friends.  And plan on continuing to count myself as one of that circle, no matter how many thousands of miles separate us.  

a hole-in-one

Yesterday afternoon 7 of us (4 Americans and 3 Asians) went to play mini golf.  It was the first time ever for each of our local friends, and the first time I've played in at least ten years. 

From the moment we pulled up at the entrance, I felt like I was in America.  I promise you, this exact mini golf course must exist somewhere in the States.  It's a really weird feeling when my two worlds (Asia and America) collide in ways I don't expect.  Playing putt putt golf about 45 minutes from my apartment here in big city Asia definitely qualified as weird.  And super fun.

We played the first course, stopped for dinner, and then played a second course.  A total of 36 holes and yours truly got FOUR holes-in-one!  

My first (and personal favorite, since Erin Ashley got a hole-in-one on the same hole):

And the second....

After dinner came hole-in-one #3...

and then #4 :)

What this basically means is that you should jump at any chance you get to play mini golf with me in the future.  I am sure my entire lifetime's quota of putt-putt-golf-luck was used up at this one particular course and if life is fair, I will never get another hole-in-one again.   

In other words, play with me and you'll probably win :) 

On the other hand, as my Dad likes to say, life isn't fair.  In which case I just might luck out and get another hole-in-one before the kids leave for college. 

One more mini golf post coming up soon!  Yep, so much fun that it merits two posts on the blog! 

adoption Q & A

Where are we in the process?  What's the next step?  When will we meet our new baby?  How old will he/she be?  Have you decided on a name?  What do the other kids think? 

We get LOTS of questions about our adoption.  Honestly, I don't know the answers to all of them.  [And you know what, I didn't know answers to a lot of questions when I was pregnant either!]  Here's a bit of what we do know: 

First, about the process.  The home study paperwork is not nearly as complex or time-consuming as I feared.  While there were days that I felt under the pile and got tired of scanning documents and gathering information, now that I look back on the process it wasn't that tricky.  Granted, I am a detail oriented, task focused kind of a person but I think anyone who put their mind to it could wade through home study paperwork pretty quickly.  

With domestic adoption, after a home study is complete you are eligible to match with a birth mother.  Most people match through a specific agency.  Because of some of our unique circumstances (ie we live overseas, we are in the States for a limited amount of time, we are interested in cross-racial adoption) we decided to use an adoption consultant, which basically means multiple agencies have access to our paperwork. 

Right now we are waiting to match.  The birth mother makes the final choice regarding the adoptive family for her child - she knows/will know basic info about us like our first names, the size of our family, etc.  But we also exercise some discretion - an agency contacts us about a potential birth mom, asking if they can show her our family's profile.  So while we don't make the final decision, we do know some background on the birth mother (and occasionally the birth father) and basic info like the baby's due date, location, etc and have the option of saying "no, we are interested in matching with that particular situation".  

Much of adoption law is state determined and varies widely across the United States.  We are looking at matching with a baby in states that have quick finalization (ie the adoption finalizes within a month or two) and no revocation period (ie the birth mother cannot 'change her mind' and decide she wants to keep the baby after she signs consent).  Selfishly, we'd also like to match with a baby in a state within driving distance, so we can load up the whole family to go meet baby #4!

After we match, the most likely situation is that we'll be at the hospital to meet the baby shortly after birth.  

So far, we've seen info on several different potential situations.  It's complicated, and we are super aware of how desperately we need the Lord to guide us.  We firmly believe that He is in control and that He loves and cares for orphans and wants to place them in families. We're also hopeful that He plans to place one in our family this fall! 

As for the how the rest of the family is preparing.... the girls are officially READY!  We talk about "the new baby" almost every day.  Last week when I picked Lydia up from Sunday School her teacher told me that Lydia said "Our family is getting a new baby.  I'm adopting it."  (or something like that... I can't remember the exact quote.) 

Isaac is blissfully clueless.  I kind of like it that way. 

We hope to match soon (within a month or two, but it could be more) and welcome a new baby this fall.  But we just don't know how the details will fall into place.  

Any other questions?  Leave them in the comments.  Remember, I might not know the answer :)  

Oh yeah, and we are almost positive we've settled on names.  That marks a personal record for Matt and me, who are notorious last minute name choosers (we finalized Isaac's name about halfway through labor).  But for now, the names are still our little secret :)

they seriously dress like this

Last week we had some rainy days and the temperatures really cooled off (at least for a few days, it is blazing hot and super sunny again this week).  The rain and cooler temps are a good thing - the rainy season is starting a little earlier than normal and rain is an answer to the prayers of many who are suffering from the drought.

The not so good thing is that the potential for little girl wardrobe disasters exponentially increases as the girls add articles of clothing.

It's not too difficult for an (almost) three or four year old to pick out a skirt and top or a sundress and make it out of the house looking relatively put together.  So I'd been enjoying a relative calm in the midst of the "opinionated little girls dress themselves" storm.

Until it got chilly and they added leggings, jackets and socks on top of their skirts and dresses. 

Can I just tell you that I didn't even notice what they were wearing when I took the photo?  It doesn't phase me anymore.  

But I loaded the photos on my computer and started looking through them and I got to this one and thought, "who in the world lets their children dress like that?..... oh yeah, I do!"

Want a closer look?

Pretty impressive, isn't it?  Every day but Sunday I just let them go at it - whatever they want, they wear.  I love what it says about them.  They dress how they want, they genuinely think they look fantastic, and they don't care a lick about social norms that dictate what matches and what doesn't.  

Love it.

let the packing begin

Slowly, surely.... details are falling into place.  Although we have not yet signed a contract, we continue to move forward on renting a first floor 3 bedroom apartment with a (small) yard!  Ideally, the contract would be signed and the details finalized by the end of the week.   

We settled on a relocation company that will pack our stuff, truck it to our new city (a two day drive) and store it until our new apartment is ready.  The packers will probably come on June 25th, but that date is still a little uncertain. 

Although I am really grateful that a lot of the packing is not my responsibility, I still have plenty of organizing and cleaning out to do before the movers arrive.  And, of course, I am packing for our six month furlough.  Lots of seasons, lots of destinations, lots of growing children to pack for....and we hope and pray we'll add another child along the way.  It's pretty insane. 

We have this great 'extra' bedroom in our house.  It's really had about a hundred different identities in the three years we've lived here.  When we first arrived it was an office for Matt, and a bedroom for teeny tiny Lydia.  When Lydia was a few months old she moved in with her big sis, and the extra room was solely Matt's office.  Unless we had company, in which case Matt's office moved to the master bedroom and the extra room became a guest room.  

Then Isaac arrived, and the office permanently moved to the master and the extra room became a bedroom for the little guy.  We moved in a dresser and rocking chair and Isaac had his own space for about six months.  Then he moved in with the big sisters.

But I kept a pack n play in the extra room for Isaac's daytime naps.  The girls called it "Isaac's day bed".  For the past year when we host visitors we move the dresser out of the extra room and into the hallway and pullout the futon.  Voila.  Guest room. 

Until now.  I returned the extra pack n play to the friends who kindly loaned it to us.  I scooted the futon right up close to the door and used it as a barrier to block off the back part of the room and now the extra room is packing central.  

Exhibit A:

If all goes as planned, 95% of our belongings will be on a truck headed north in three weeks.  The remaining 5% will be in suitcases ready for our July 1st flight to Hong Kong.  

And when we arrive in America if Isaac is missing a winter jacket or I can't find a 3T bathing suit for Lydia or you see me in Target buying socks for our new baby, you'll know why :) 

fruit paradise

I got the photos from Julianna's Children's Day performance.  It really was a treat to attend.  Julianna she loves dancing and it was neat to be there to watch the culmination of months of rehearsal.   

I video taped her dance and we have watched that thing at least 50 times this past week.  It's about four minutes long, and I think I have the entire thing memorized.  She has quickly convinced every person who has entered our apartment to watch her dance video.... earlier this morning we showed it to two of Matt's campus buddies who dropped by.  Right this very minute she and her buddy Li Yu Ke are dancing along in our living room :)

If you show up in the next few days, you'll be escorted to the couch and get to watch the girls dance along.  With all this practice, even Lydia is starting to get the hang of a lot of the steps.  

So, anyways, back to the dance performance.

It was held in our town's auditorium, which is on the far end of town from our complex (ie a fifteen minute walk).  It's a really nice auditorium and we got there plenty early and had fun watching the seats fill up.

Seats were ticketed, and our family got a few extra tickets for a grand total of five seats (the little girls sat on laps and didn't need their own seat).....  EA and Emma Grace, Nai Nai, Xiao Li, me, Matt and Lydia.  

The name of Julianna's dance was "Fruit Paradise".  The little girls were either grapes, pineapples, or strawberries.  Julianna was a ......

 

GRAPE!  

I'm pretty sure her favorite part of the dance was spinning around in this grape circle .....

The girls worked really hard and did such a good job!  They were really cute. 

It's hard to say what my favorite part of the evening was, but a highlight was definitely snuggling on the couch with my exhausted little girl and her make up covered face when we got home! 

I have a feeling we have lots of events like this in our future, and I can't wait! 

welcome to the housing roller coaster

We still don't have a place to live.  But we are definitely getting closer!  This last week has been really challenging on a lot of fronts and I am weary.  

A few days ago we learned that one of our two remaining options was falling through - it needed a lot of work (to make it live-able for a family of 5/6) and we were only willing to put the time and money into it if the landlord went down on the price.  He wouldn't budge.  So we walked away.  

Which left us with one final option.  The real estate agent was having trouble getting in touch with the landlord and didn't want to give us the landlord's phone number.  This is pretty typical here - if the real estate agent "makes a deal" between a landlord and a renter then they earn a cut of the fee for their help.  And when renters have a means of directly contacting landlords, they tend to go make their own deals and skip out on the realtor fee. Dishonest, unscrupulous, but it happens.  So real estate agents, in a valid attempt to protect their livelihood, don't give out phone numbers. 

But we really needed that phone number - we had a time crunch to deal with, and waiting around for a real estate agent to track down the landlord was not on our calendar.  So we bought the phone number.  If it works out that we can rent this place, it will be a well-spent 70 dollars. 

Matt wires the money, scans and sends the confirmation, and the phone number arrives.  In the meantime, another realtor calls about a new option (maybe option 13 at this point, I have definitely lost track of all the places we've considered!)  3 bedroom, 2 bath, 7th floor (with an elevator) and ready to move in.  It's in the complex next to the one we were hoping for, but we are no longer in a position to be picky.  The realtor takes photos and sends them along.... it looks hopeful, but I need to see a floor plan so I can really understand the layout before we commit.

Back to the earlier option.  Matt talks to the landlady.  She decides she wants to do all the work on the apartment and will then rent it to us for a very reasonable price.  It won't be ready til August 15th but the relocation company we hope to use has offered two months free storage. Soooooo, this really might happen! 

And here's the best part:  it's a 1st floor, 3 bedroom apartment in the exact complex we were hoping for and it has a small yard!   Oh MY!  I almost cannot let my heart start to dream about life with a little piece of grass to call our own!  

So, we wait.  Matt is working super hard trying to handle his normal responsibilities and get all this settled for our family before we leave the country.  I talked to him earlier today and got this brief update and can't wait to hear more when he gets home.  I know there are still many details to be settled, and it will be a few days before we confirm, but I am hopeful.  

Oh  yeah, and one other amazingly helpful thing:  When Matt calls with this newest info the kids and I are in town hanging out with my friend Alisa who has been out of the country for a month (Julianna and her oldest daughter Kayleigh are dear friends).  So I'm thinking out loud "the relocation company will move our stuff in, but who could be there to "receive it", you know... tell them where to put the carpet, where to set the fridge, etc".  

And Alisa looks at me and says "I'm going to be up there in August... maybe I could do it for you.  I know your stuff, I know your apartment, I could figure out where things belonged." 

There are few people who know me well enough that I would say "yeah, would you do that?  Move into my apartment for me?"  And Alisa is one of them.  

Man oh man, this just might work! 

mango season

In the summertime our family prides itself on eating embarrassing amounts of mango.

June is crazy mango season here - right now mangoes are cheaper, per kilo, than apples!  They are literally falling off the back of fruit carts.  And we are eating them as fast as we can bring them in the house.  

One of our favorite treats?  Mango shakes (made with mango, banana and plain yogurt..... we also love to add strawberries, but they are out of season right now and we finished off our freezer stash about a month ago).

[Check out Isaac's spiked hair - if you're hoping for a similar look, try smearing lasagna in your hair - it works wonders.]  

Isaac can drain one of these shakes in a flash.  I would enter him in a contest for "fastest mango shake drinking toddler".  He could probably even beat out the preschool competition.  He's just that good :)

We ladies are pretty serious about our mango shakes too.  If given a choice for dessert.... mango shake or chocolate chip cookie, I'm almost positive the girls would choose the shakes. 

There are lots of treats we look forward to when we get to America next month (hello blueberries... here we come!) but we will miss our mangoes. In the meantime, we're committed to eating as many as we possibly can! 

where will we live??

LOTS going on here at our house.  

LOTS.  

Last weekend Matt spent two days in our new city (a one hour flight north of our current home town).  His goal was to find housing for our family.  Unfortunately, it wasn't a super successful search.  He certainly learned a lot about our new area, and we have leads on a few possible apartments, but on the whole it was pretty frustrating.  

In a country like ours, larger apartments are really only available in the wealthier areas of town.  With a family our size (pretty unusual in this country) we have significant size limitations, and in our new area of town there are not many that meet our criteria.  So, my dreams of a 4 bedroom 2 bath are out the window.  We're looking at about 1000 square feet and our (only) two possibilities at this point, both of which might fall through, need extensive work before we can move in.  

Of course, it's pretty tricky to do work on an apartment that is an hour flight from our current home.  

We head to America one month from today.   Matt is still working a demanding schedule.  How all this would actually go down, assuming we get one of these two possible units is a mystery to me. 

Honestly, the non-candy-coated truth is that I am really frustrated.  And disappointed.  

After a long day yesterday Julianna's evening Children's Day program was sheer delight and a much needed respite from the housing issue.  

Julianna's dance was awesome!  The entire program was lots of fun.  I took video and EA took still shots, so I need to get the photos from her so I can post them.  But I did get a bunch of great shots of Lydia and Emma Grace sitting with Nai Nai on the steps outside the auditorium.  Enjoy.

Children's Day at school

The girls' performances at school were .... AWESOME!!  Seriously, they both did great!  

The camera went with Matt to Lydia's class.  Turns out he wasn't the only one who thought to record the moment - see the cell phone on the far right side of the photo?

The students (42 in her class) danced and sang for the parent-saturated audience.  Matt said Lydia did amazingly well.  I am sure that Lydia needed a little TLC these past few months - she's only the second non-Chinese speaker to ever attend this preschool (Julianna was the first).  

And it's clear that her teachers delivered on the TLC.  Matt said Lydia obviously felt comfortable, acted like a part of the class, handled herself with confidence, sang along to the songs, etc.  We are delighted to see that she did so well, and feel like it is confirmation that we made the right choice to start her at school in March.  

Matt really enjoyed being there, and it was a special time for the two of them to share.  As we put the kids in bed tonight Lydia looked up at Matt and whispered, "I'm still excited about my school day."

While Lydia danced and sang, I enjoyed my time in Julianna's class immensely.  It's starting to feel more natural to be at these events, I know what to expect, and am consciously grateful for the experiences of the past two years - the learning curve was pretty steep at the beginning, but we hung in there and I am so glad we did. 

Julianna's class finished earlier than Lydia's so the two of us, together with Julianna's buddy Li Yu Ke, squeezed into the back of Lydia's classroom to watch.  

It was a special day for all of us - we are grateful that the Lord provided such a wonderful school experience for the girls.  Only a few more weeks and it will be their "last day". I am starting to think through ways to help them (especially Julianna) bring some closure to their time at school.  

This is not a highly transient community, and I'm sure few 4 year olds know what to do with a "classmate who moves to the other side of the world".  Right now I hope to ask her teachers if I can go to class one day to help Julianna tell her classmates that she is leaving .... maybe bring a world map and take lots of photos and ????  Any ideas for me?