adoption Q & A

Where are we in the process?  What's the next step?  When will we meet our new baby?  How old will he/she be?  Have you decided on a name?  What do the other kids think? 

We get LOTS of questions about our adoption.  Honestly, I don't know the answers to all of them.  [And you know what, I didn't know answers to a lot of questions when I was pregnant either!]  Here's a bit of what we do know: 

First, about the process.  The home study paperwork is not nearly as complex or time-consuming as I feared.  While there were days that I felt under the pile and got tired of scanning documents and gathering information, now that I look back on the process it wasn't that tricky.  Granted, I am a detail oriented, task focused kind of a person but I think anyone who put their mind to it could wade through home study paperwork pretty quickly.  

With domestic adoption, after a home study is complete you are eligible to match with a birth mother.  Most people match through a specific agency.  Because of some of our unique circumstances (ie we live overseas, we are in the States for a limited amount of time, we are interested in cross-racial adoption) we decided to use an adoption consultant, which basically means multiple agencies have access to our paperwork. 

Right now we are waiting to match.  The birth mother makes the final choice regarding the adoptive family for her child - she knows/will know basic info about us like our first names, the size of our family, etc.  But we also exercise some discretion - an agency contacts us about a potential birth mom, asking if they can show her our family's profile.  So while we don't make the final decision, we do know some background on the birth mother (and occasionally the birth father) and basic info like the baby's due date, location, etc and have the option of saying "no, we are interested in matching with that particular situation".  

Much of adoption law is state determined and varies widely across the United States.  We are looking at matching with a baby in states that have quick finalization (ie the adoption finalizes within a month or two) and no revocation period (ie the birth mother cannot 'change her mind' and decide she wants to keep the baby after she signs consent).  Selfishly, we'd also like to match with a baby in a state within driving distance, so we can load up the whole family to go meet baby #4!

After we match, the most likely situation is that we'll be at the hospital to meet the baby shortly after birth.  

So far, we've seen info on several different potential situations.  It's complicated, and we are super aware of how desperately we need the Lord to guide us.  We firmly believe that He is in control and that He loves and cares for orphans and wants to place them in families. We're also hopeful that He plans to place one in our family this fall! 

As for the how the rest of the family is preparing.... the girls are officially READY!  We talk about "the new baby" almost every day.  Last week when I picked Lydia up from Sunday School her teacher told me that Lydia said "Our family is getting a new baby.  I'm adopting it."  (or something like that... I can't remember the exact quote.) 

Isaac is blissfully clueless.  I kind of like it that way. 

We hope to match soon (within a month or two, but it could be more) and welcome a new baby this fall.  But we just don't know how the details will fall into place.  

Any other questions?  Leave them in the comments.  Remember, I might not know the answer :)  

Oh yeah, and we are almost positive we've settled on names.  That marks a personal record for Matt and me, who are notorious last minute name choosers (we finalized Isaac's name about halfway through labor).  But for now, the names are still our little secret :)