Ok, I'm starting to feel a little panicky about John Paul.
Excited. Ready. And also a lot of "can I really do this?"
I feel like my answer to just about every question is "I don't know.". This is not my favorite answer.
Q: When will he arrive on Monday?
A: I don't know.
Q: Will he stay with his foster family til Monday morning?
A: I don't know.
Q: Will he scream and cry and grieve and be confused and thrash and wail and cry out for his foster Mom for hours or for days?
A: I don't know.
Q: How will I react to this kind of grief from a child I don't know?
A: I don't know.
Q: Will we meet his foster family?
A: I don't know.
Q: Can we visit his finding place? (ie where he was abandoned)
A: I don't know.
Q: Will size 18 month clothes fit John Paul?
A: I don't know.
Q: Is he potty-trained?
A: I don't know.
Q: Has he ever seen a foreigner before?
A: I don't know.
Q: How do I feed a child with a cleft palate?
A: I don't know.
All the "I don't know-ing" kept me up last night. And then my Luke woke me a few more times (really Luke? is this a good time to start bad night sleep patterns?)
So what do I do?
Focus on what I do know.
Jesus.
6 comments:
Oh yes Laura. He is soooo there for you like He promises. Sooo good to know that he understands our ' I don't knowssss " so much better than we could ever imagine, and in our weaknesses He is soooo strong. Admitting our "I don't knows" is so courageous. Love you. jan
Laura
We sang this song in church this morning. It is called God I Look To You by Jenn Johnson of Bethel (not our bethel) music.
I think it would be an encouraging song to you right now.
Here are the lyrics to the verse:
God I look to You, I won’t be overwhelmed
Give me vision to see things like You do
God I look to You, You’re where my help comes from
Give me wisdom; You know just what to do
Prayers are being heard all around the world for you guys this week!
praying lots! Can't wait to get back and be within easy calling... we land August 15. Love you.
praying! and trusting Jesus with you! He never fails.
Been thinking so much about Paul boasting in his weakness...it's where God's power and therefore his glory are most clearly seen. As you walk this road with so many unknowns and so many ways in which you can't be prepared for what's to come, I'm expecting God to reveal his sufficiency where you lack, for you to see his glory more and for others to see it too. It's in these broken and weak places that we find his sufficiency to be more than enough...and we love him more for it. prayers for you friend! keep leaning hard into the one you know, friend!!
oh... Laura, I just laughed aloud for the joy of reading through this great post to the bottom line... the bottom word. His name. Yes. You know it and his grace is showing wildly all over your beautiful lives. I'm so happy I'll get to represent my Matt and his share of that crazy apartment with you guys next week. Such a gracious Father to arrange this!
much love to you!
j
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