it's a full moon tonight

This is pretty much the one night of the year that I have any idea what moon-phase we are in.  I have a good excuse too - the overcast skies our city claims as trademark.  We just don't see the moon.  It's every bit as terrible as it sounds. 

But tonight I'm sure it's a full moon.  (even if we can't see it)  Today is Mid-Autumn Festival, a really big deal here, and its always during a full moon.  Since the day of Mid-Autumn Festival is determined by a lunar calendar, the date changes every year.  This year it lines up perfectly with China's National Day (October 1st) and the result is lots of vacation!  No school for a week - most government offices, big businesses, etc all closed. 

We're starting the week with a get together this afternoon and evening with some local friends.  Dessert will be moon cakes (little round cakes with a thick flavored filling).  Our friends that are hosting live on the 22nd floor!  If there's any chance we're gonna spot the moon it's probably from their balcony. 

[updated:  home from the party and it was so fun AND we saw the moon!  it was beautiful!]

Later in the week Matt and the big three will head out on a one-night camping trip with a bunch of students.  John Paul would surely think a camping trip was one small step away from heaven - but since he would require round-the-clock oversight and attention he was knocked off the invite list.  Luke, the crawling dirt-eater also missed out on this year's invitation. 

So it'll be me and the little boys here at home.  We'll probably do some errand running, some stroller walking, some tower building, that kind of thing.

We are so blessed to live in a great stroller-walking area and I get out several times a day (if it's not raining).  With the little boys in the stroller and Isaac on his bike we can cover some serious territory while the girls are at school.

In the afternoons I sometimes put Luke on my back and John Paul in the single. 

And when I'm feeling energetic and like I'm up for a challenge I let John Paul roam free with Luke in the single.   My John Paul is an explorer, and he's got a good bit of speed :)  

Fortunately, (unless his belly is running on empty), Luke is happy to hang out in the stroller and flash his smiles at whoever will pay him any attention! 

Seriously.  Does it get any more precious than that? 

days like this

I'd love to write a blog post about how smoothly John Paul transitioned into our family.  And, honestly, I could.  Considering all the battles we could potentially be fighting, all the struggles we could potentially be facing, well... I'd say we are not just surviving, we're well past that.  We're doing fine.  Great during some moments.  Worse during others. 

But I also don't want to gloss over the hard parts.  As much as I deeply desire that our family would spur others towards adoption, I don't want anyone to leave our blog thinking "well, that's just about as sweet as it can be, isn't it?" 

[Speaking of spurring towards adoption -  Did you know that there are about 200 orphans affiliated with the orphanage John Paul came from, about half in foster care (like him) and half in an institution?  And, best I can tell, the week we adopted John Paul he was the ONLY one who left that week?  The ONLY one of 200 who entered a forever family and left the orphan-title behind for good?] 

There are hard parts.  Toddler adoption is hard. 

One day last week John Paul was a grump.  I mean a GRUMP.  All. Day. Long.  Just grumpy.  Now, all of us have grumpy days, and it's not the first time a grumpy kid nearly took every last scrap of joy and patience I was able to scour from the depths of my heart. 

But a grumpy John Paul brings all sorts of questions to the surface.  Does he just not like us? Is he tired of being here? Does he miss his foster mom? Is he crabby because life has dealt him some pretty hard knocks in 20 short months? 

Or is he just having a plain old bad day?  Just like the rest of us have bad days. 

Last night Matt and I went on a date (woohoo!) for the first time since bringing him home.  John Paul came along :)  and a dear friend of ours watched the other four.  I'm not sure when we'll be ready to leave him - but I know we're not there yet.  And I am almost positive John Paul would panic if he realized neither Matt not I was with him. 

Anyways, we're in the car, headed to dinner, just the three of us.  And John Paul got so quiet, his eyes a vacant stare.  It took me about five seconds to realize what it was - it was fear.  He was scared.  I'm not sure what he thought we were doing, but I know he was scared.  Where were the other kids?  Why just him? Where were we going? 

He's had a few pretty terrible car rides recently.  The day his foster mom returned him to the orphanage, the day the orphanage worker drove him to meet us.  For all we know, he was scared we were taking him somewhere to leave him.

CAN YOU IMAGINE??? 

Oh little buddy, how I wish I could drive the fear out of your eyes.  How I wish your history had been written differently.  How I wish that the idea that we would ever leave you never crossed your mind. 

We pulled into the parking garage and Matt scooped him up, holding him tight.  "You're coming with us John Paul, you are staying right with us.  We're not going anywhere.  It's a date.  You are on a date with Mom and Dad."

He started to relax.  And by the time we got upstairs to the restaurant he was confident again.  Roaming around to the kids' play area, back to our table, back to the play area, all the while snacking on whatever yummy munchies he gathered at our table.  On the way home he fell asleep in the car.  Fear gone.  At least for the night. 

John Paul is delightful.  He runs me ragged with his climbing and exploring.  Our inability to communicate well drives both of us crazy.  (But he is starting to use some signs to communicate with me!  Oh joy!)  He laughs long and hard.  I have moments when I just cannot believe that God chose me to be his forever Mommy.  What a gift this little guy is! 

But it's a very up and down road we walk together.  The same little guy who grinned and reached for me waking up from his nap also doubts in the depths of his heart that I will be with him always.

And we're going to have a lot more days.  Some grumpy, some delightful, before that fear gets pushed far far far away.  

laundry times seven

This is what it looks like :)  Do you see Luke's little head poking up behind the top of the pile? 

I had this great idea that while the big three were resting and John Paul napping I could plop Luke in the middle and fold while he tried to figure out how to make his way out of the clothes mountain.  Ha!  Didn't work.  He's quick, and wasn't interested in giving me time to do much more than snap this photo and fold six washcloths.

Oh well, it'll be waiting for me tonight, I guess :)

[I can blog and upload photos one-handed, but I still haven't figured out how to fold laundry with just one hand.  Though I did put him on the ground to type this but now he's fussing so off I go.....]

our playground

Recently we have spent quite a bit of time at our neighborhood playground... although there are times when the attention (and questions about our family) from others can drive me bananas, I am very grateful for such a nice place to play.  Usually there are only a couple of other children there (if any), so it can be a great spot for family fun. 

See Lydia sitting up top there?  As I walked up with the camera she yelled "look Mom, I'm a fairy".  Are there days that you wish you were still five years old perched on top of some playground equipment? 

I wish they would wear shoes since the ground is really gross dirty but (as we all know) you just can't climb up a slide with shoes on.  And I don't want to go down in history as the mom who was more worried about dirty feet than slide-climbing.  So we kind of compromise.  They toss the shoes.  And every now and then I say, "the ground is just so dirty, could you please put them on for a few minutes?"  But it still makes my stomach churn when I think about all the nasty stuff that hits that playground surface. 

They often play some version of "the playground structure is a boat and the ground is the shark-infested water".  There are all kinds of variations to this theme, many of which involve Mom being attacked by sharks.  Silly Mommy, she keeps her shoes on and won't climb up the slide to safety. 

In keeping with the boat/water/shark idea, headfirst down the slide is referred to as "diving". 

Julianna has recently started running around with a few neighborhood girls on the weekends - they'll come stand in our courtyard and call for her to come out and play :)  Our complex is pretty small, and she has the freedom to run around with these girls as long as they don't leave the gates and don't enter anyone's home (other than ours of course - they sometimes choose to come in, but with the weather so nice it's the perfect season to spend lots of time outdoors before it gets too chilly).

Lydia sometimes tags along, but today she had chosen to stay with me.  And we hadn't been at the playground long when Julianna and the friends showed up.  

And then the friends went home, and eventually so did we :) But it won't be long before we're back again. 

double (little) brothers

Adding two little brothers in a six month span is not for the faint of heart.  My boy Isaac has handled it so well - not perfectly, but really well.

Six months ago Isaac was the family baby, the only son.  Now he's smack dab in the middle of a pack of 5, two older sisters on top, two younger brothers behind him.


I don't think anyone would claim that it's an easy spot to occupy. 

But it does come with built-in wrestling opponents.  (He and Julianna will rustle and tumble - Lydia does not get involved.... and this was the first night that John Paul and Isaac really seemed to get into some rough play.)

Something tells me there's a lot more wrestling right around the corner. 

two under two

This is the third time in my momma-hood that I've had two children under age 2.

Julianna and Lydia, fall 2007.

 Lydia and Isaac, summer 2009.

[missing picture from a missing event - Isaac and John Paul had a few months where both were under age 2, spring 2011... but of course John Paul wasn't here.]

And now here we are again - John Paul and Luke, fall 2012.

And from someone who has walked this road, lemme tell ya something about life with two under two.

It's busy.

And its funny.

And its blessed.  Years ago when I actually thought that I was pretty much in control of when children entered our family (ha!) I'm not sure I would have written the script this way.  But now that I'm living it.... well, most days I love it.

I watch these two little guys and cannot wait to see what the Lord does with their relationship.  I've got an inkling that it's gonna be intense at times - Luke is a little on the feisty side, and John Paul is hardly one to back down from a challenge.  But I pray that I would navigate the waters well (with them, and for them).

And for these next months of 2 under 2 - grace and energy and patience and laughter, lots and lots of laughter.  

yesterday at the park (welcome fall!)

Yesterday afternoon we joined some other families for a picnic at the park. 

 Fall weather is in the air and I LOVE THIS (all too short) SEASON!!!  

 I'm pretty sure this was John Paul's first picnic, and he shows lots of promise! 

His big brother can put away some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. 

And his little brother can scoot off this picnic blanket and eat a fistful of grass in a hurry.  Oh little Luke... it's good for the immune system, right? 

It's so good for our family to have days like this - dusk arrived, the air crisped, and the big three ran and ran and ran, shouting and laughing with little friends (new and old).  Luke was snoozing before we left the park and John Paul joined him before we got home. 

kitchen floor reality

Most of you have never seen our home.  This little picture of the kitchen floor might convince you to cross us of your list of potential places to visit :) 

What?  Y'all.  I sweep A LOT!  My girls sweep a lot.  But this is a little out of control.... And, even better, instead of sweeping I took a photo and put it on the blog. 

I can sweep later.  In fact, I will sweep later.  Again and again and again.  For years.  Might as well take the time to photograph it -

And while I had the camera out I took a picture of the laundry heap too (two loads in today, just a little bit remains).  My new washer is a-maz-ing!  I still marvel at how much it holds.  [Probably half the size of your standard U.S. sized washer, but still a huge-o blessing to have this new machine!] 

Even with the five kiddos keeping up with the laundry hasn't been too much of a challenge.  Once we get into winter clothing it might be a different story, but for now I'm doing great.  And the green bucket? Diapers.  If the winter laundry gets out of control the diapers will be the first to go.  I love the cloth, but no denying it adds to my work load....

Just a little dose of reality from the home front.  I spend a good chunk of time feeding the crew (and then sweeping) and dealing with laundry.  Seems like these two spots deserve a blog photo or two!

the climber and the crawler

An appropriate subtitle for this post would be:

why I only sit for brief moments

Luke's crawl speed daily increases.  He mostly a forward-direction mover, but occasionally backs himself into some sticky spots.  We also once found him on his back with his head and upper body under an arm chair, a car-mechanic-ish pose. 

He can cross the living room no worries, but at this point he's slow enough that I can keep up with his location fairly easily.  It's keeping contraband stuff out of his mouth that proves my bigger worry.  (In true fashion he would love to eat a grape, or a magazine page, or a piece of carpet fuzz.  He is totally uninterested in rice cereal.)

John Paul is not slow about anything.  That little guy can be halfway to the neighborhood playground before I get Luke buckled into the stroller.  The gate on our courtyard is broken and he knows it.  (Gonna get that gate fixed this afternoon!)

He's also got a little climber-streak in him.

Just this morning I caught him here

(the seat insert to the exersaucer is missing due to an unfortunate incident involving Luke and a tremendous amount of poop.... )

I also found him here.
 

(the reason he looks like he is getting ready to launch himself onto the sofa is because he is getting ready to launch onto the sofa... it's a move he learned from the big sibs.... and a move I am trying to prevent)

And here.

(I got to the camera in time to catch the dismount off the craft table... he likes to stand up there for a nice look around the living area from a higher vantage point)

I have managed to communicate that standing on the kitchen table is not allowed. 

But there is good reason not to leave him unattended for long.  Which makes some tasks (cooking?!?) difficult.  Yesterday I strapped him in the booster seat with a snack while I made sub rolls.  This morning I cooked pumpkin bread with him on my back (in the ergo). 

Discipline is complicated by the fact that we are

a) still learning to trust one another and
b) still figuring out how to communicate using our two different languages

So in the meantime, I do very little sitting :)

the things i hear (with big ears)

I attracted a lot of attention pre-John Paul.  Taking four blond children for a walk in a neighborhood that hosts exactly zero other foreign residents will do that. 

But now with John Paul in the mix we have definitely moved to a new level of attention-getting.  And I hear some pretty hilarious comments.

My personal favorite?  "He looks like a Chinese person."

Well, he IS a Chinese person.  Ethnically Chinese for life.  And, for the present, he is still a Chinese citizen (we haven't completed the process to get him U.S. citizenship). 

I also hear "look, twins".  Interesting that the same people who claim John Paul "looks like a Chinese person" are also quick to assign twin-ship to John Paul and Luke (who most definitely does NOT look Chinese!) 

I have heard so many twin comments through the years - Julianna and Lydia, Lydia and Isaac, I've even been asked MULTIPLE times if Julianna Lydia and Isaac are triplets.  My only conclusion is that the one child policy has so distorted an entire society's view of child-bearing that they simply jump to the assumption that multiple children are twins/triplets.  [In actuality the one child policy is a one birth policy.] 

I get a lot of very direct questions and comments (by "very direct" I mean easy to take the wrong way if you're not armed-and-ready with loads of grace for your fellow man). 
"Why did you adopt when you already have four?"
"Why did his mom not want him?"
"I can see where his cleft lip was repaired."
"Where did you get him?" (like there is some sort of baby store I frequent)

And, on the opposite side of the spectrum, I get lots of encouragement.  "You are such a good person." "It's so great that you adopted him." "Your family is so good to do this."  "Thank you." 

Many many opportunities to tell people about the goodness of the Lord, the way He perfectly creates individuals, His heart to set the lonely in families, and the gift of children. 

With John Paul in tow all I have to do is walk out my door, a conversation about Jesus is just around the corner. 

And at this point in his young life he is not really interested in listening.  I know that in all these conversations John Paul is my number one audience.  No matter what I am saying to who, I want to keep his ears, his heart in the front of my mind.  So the way we handle all this attention will undoubtedly change through the years.  But at this point even my big kids will look you in the eye and say "we adopted him, because no one wants to grow up in an orphanage". 

And one last thing, did you know John Paul has big ears?  He really does. 

And in China people think big ears mean you are lucky.  I hear lots of comments about his ears.  "Oh, he has big ears.  He's so lucky." 

I don't think luck has a thing to do with it.  There is one God, perfectly wise, perfectly sovereign, perfectly loving, who is writing John Paul's story.  And there are plenty of parts of the story that don't look too "lucky" to me (abandoned at 3 days old? lucky?).  But I know that God can redeem those parts of his story - indeed He already is.  Big ears and all :) 

Sunday pictures

I am woefully behind on photos of our new family.  John Paul is very difficult to photograph... seriously, almost every photo of him is blurry.  The boy does. not. stop.  (Until he sleeps.  And then he sleeps hard - yay for everyone!)   

Well this afternoon I was determined to get a photo of all of us.  Tricky, since we were using the camera timer.  But four shots yielded one pretty decent option, and I'm happy to have it.

We also did "the girls" picture (easy-peasy, these sweet ones love to pose and love to cuddle up to mom)

And the boys' photo (admitedly a bit more challenging to stage!)

And that's all my brain has capacity for tonight :)  We had a great day.  So thankful to have Matt with me on Sundays! 

18 to go

Today (September 6th) marks one month with John Paul in our arms.

Right now I wouldn't say it feels like it went so fast.  Nor would I say every day is a marathon.  I'll just say, it feels like it's been a month.  In good ways.  And in hard ways.

And for some reason my mind has this refrain running: "18 more to go".  As in, 18 more months and we'll hit the 19-months-at-home mark, when the amount of time he has spent with us will pass the amount of time he spent with his foster mom. 

I'm not sure why, but it just feels significant.  Not like it's some sort of competition to "have him longer" or that there is something magic that will happen when his time here surpasses his time there.  Mostly like, "Wow, I really missed out on a lot of his life.  A whole lot.  And it matters, to  him and to me and to our whole family..... he was there and we weren't."

It will be 18 more months until John Paul has been with me longer than he was without me.  And that's significant. 


We've made some hu-mon-gous strides in a month.  And we have a long way to go :)

This morning I saw another promising moment or two when it looked like Isaac and John Paul could play together.  Right now they hardly ever play together.  Only 21 months apart in age (which is actually the largest age gap between any of my children, can you believe it?), and I trust that one day they will be buds.  But for right now Isaac seems so much older and more mature and John Paul more of a toddler. 

But this morning they collaboratively worked on getting themselves covered in dirt while loading and  unloading shovel-fulls of our garden. 

It was fun to watch and enjoy.  But usually I think of the boys as one big and two little.  Luke and John Paul are my "babies", Isaac my big guy. 

John Paul sure does want to be a big kid though, imitating the older three all day long.  Wasn't I glad when Isaac started smacking overhead tree branches with a stick and John Paul wanted to imitate that too?  You would be correct in assuming this scene did not end well - no tragedies, but the sticks did not last long before Momma came in and confiscated the weaponry. 

So Isaac moved on to driving his car on Luke's head, and John Paul headed back for the dirt/garden patch. 

One month with three boys under my belt. 

dinner out

I usually don't cook on Sundays.  And while I dream for the day that we live somewhere close to a western restaurant that will DELIVER FOOD (!!!!!!!) I know that right now that's not an option.  So we usually end up eating out somewhere close by.

Last Sunday we were feeling like we wanted a new option so we loaded up the bikes and stroller and headed out.   

Matt is always about three minutes from an adventure - so with him in lead we veered from our usual route and went back of our apartment complex towards the market. 

Its not my favorite route, crowded busy dusty smelly .....  and since we rarely traipse that direction we attract LOADS of attention.  

Matt slowed as we passed one restaurant but the 'zoo animal effect' (when I start to feel like a caged zoo exhibit as people wander over to get a better look at the foreign family) was pretty strong, and I bit my lip so I didn't blurt out "if we eat here the crowd issue will be so difficult I am sure it will be almost impossible to enjoy the meal". 

Wisely Matt headed us down this back street and off the beaten path just enough that we lost the zoo-watchers.  See Julianna on her bike headed to the restaurant tucked behind the red signs? 

It's a one room garage-door style establishment, through the open doorway in the rear wall is housing for the owner/operator/cook/dishwasher/jack of all trades (in plaid shirt) who runs the place, along with his sweet wife.  

Four tables (we spread out and occupied two!) and yummy food - basically a big pot filled with the meat and veggies of your choosing, cooked and served right in the pot. 

We filled our bellies and headed home for much needed baths (it was a messy meal for more than one of us!)

Another Sunday evening meal in the neighborhood.  

[Sorry I missed any pics of the little boys in the stroller... we did bring them along!]

the first day

School season again :)  This year my girls will be at school four mornings a week, Isaac probably two mornings (but maybe three....)

School is definitely a trade-off for this mama.  On the one hand I am SO INCREDIBLY PROUD of them for their courage (what if your first day of school jitters included wariness of cultural mis-reads and disconnects) and their hard work (again, to do school in a second language ) and their admirable language skills.  [I'm still fully convinced that one of the primary ways we communicate love and respect towards our host culture here is by learning to speak their language!]

But I do miss them when they are gone.  I miss the help!  Especially my big girls - wow those girls lend a big hand, just their mere presence is a significant aid.  And then there are the times I specifically ask them to pitch in on a task or two....  And I miss their constant chatter.  And the excitement and energy and creativity they add to our home.  And their whining and bickering and messes (ha!)

So it's with divided heart that I sent them off this morning. 

Julianna is actually repeating a grade :)  For simplicities sake we decided to keep her at the same school as her siblings, which makes her the oldest kid in her class.  But since we're not really running the crazy rat race of the Chinese educational system (which puts children on the fast track to extra tutoring and packed-out schedules and piles of homework.... ) it doesn't bother us a lick that she is not getting any new academic material this year. 

She will still get lots and lots of language and culture exposure.  And she'll be a first grader when we start some home school stuff later this fall.

Lydia is moving up to the classroom next door to Julianna's.  In America I'm pretty sure she'd be barely qualifying for kindergarten (two weeks past her fifth birthday). 

She is still my most-reluctant school attender, the child who would live her entire life a mere inch from her mama's left knee if it were an option. 

And then my boy Isaac.  Brightens any classroom, that's for sure! 

He's got a new classroom too, but the same teachers from last spring ..... a smooth transition back to the schoolroom for my biggest little man. 

So school season is here.  We have tentative plans to move next summer (our lease is up, and our 1000 sq ft are busting at the seams with a family of seven!) so this might be our last year at this amazing little school.  Grateful grateful for another year ahead of us!