Right now I wouldn't say it feels like it went so fast. Nor would I say every day is a marathon. I'll just say, it feels like it's been a month. In good ways. And in hard ways.
And for some reason my mind has this refrain running: "18 more to go". As in, 18 more months and we'll hit the 19-months-at-home mark, when the amount of time he has spent with us will pass the amount of time he spent with his foster mom.
I'm not sure why, but it just feels significant. Not like it's some sort of competition to "have him longer" or that there is something magic that will happen when his time here surpasses his time there. Mostly like, "Wow, I really missed out on a lot of his life. A whole lot. And it matters, to him and to me and to our whole family..... he was there and we weren't."
It will be 18 more months until John Paul has been with me longer than he was without me. And that's significant.
We've made some hu-mon-gous strides in a month. And we have a long way to go :)
This morning I saw another promising moment or two when it looked like Isaac and John Paul could play together. Right now they hardly ever play together. Only 21 months apart in age (which is actually the largest age gap between any of my children, can you believe it?), and I trust that one day they will be buds. But for right now Isaac seems so much older and more mature and John Paul more of a toddler.
But this morning they collaboratively worked on getting themselves covered in dirt while loading and unloading shovel-fulls of our garden.
It was fun to watch and enjoy. But usually I think of the boys as one big and two little. Luke and John Paul are my "babies", Isaac my big guy.
John Paul sure does want to be a big kid though, imitating the older three all day long. Wasn't I glad when Isaac started smacking overhead tree branches with a stick and John Paul wanted to imitate that too? You would be correct in assuming this scene did not end well - no tragedies, but the sticks did not last long before Momma came in and confiscated the weaponry.
So Isaac moved on to driving his car on Luke's head, and John Paul headed back for the dirt/garden patch.
One month with three boys under my belt.
1 comment:
looks B U S Y....but glad he is sustaining you. much love to your three boys!!! Andy told me this week that he still thinks of isaac as a baby. He doesn't look at your blog as often so he still thinks of him as "our little buddy"
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