the road I would not have chosen

Three words into this post and my eyes are already teary.  Friends, this adoption journey has not followed the road I would have chosen.  It is so hard.  We never dreamed we would be at this place (November) and not have a baby in our arms.

Here's the brief version of the past few months:  When we first returned to the US we focused mainly on adopting from certain very "safe" situations.  Adoption law is state-determined, so we focused on adopting from certain states that would allow us the easiest process for finalizing an adoption quickly.  We had what we thought was a perfect situation with a baby boy in Kansas.  And after about three (ish) weeks, it fell through.

A few weeks later we decided to "throw the doors wide open"... we decided to look at any situation in any state and see if we could make it work.   We decided that even if I had to return to the US with the baby later next year to finalize (court paperwork) then we were willing to do that.

And we started getting phone calls.  Lots of phone calls.  October 23rd we though we were matched with a baby girl due two days later.  The birth mom found out we lived in China and backed out.  Last Tuesday we got a phone call about a just born baby girl, the mom had about 48 hours to make a decision and she ended up choosing a different family.  Sunday we got a phone call about a just born baby boy.  We were the only family in consideration.  This morning we learned that the mom has decided to parent her child (almost certainly not a healthy situation for the baby, there are significant concerns about her ability to parent).

I am not sure if you can imagine what it is like to get these kinds of phone calls - and then wait - wondering if "this one is your child".  And there have been others that were less intense.... I feel like we hear something about some potential match multiple times a week.

We have some pretty significant time constraints, and feel like we need to have a placement really soon or we have to "give up".  We haven't talked really seriously about what we would do next, but with all the paperwork we have, and all the money the Lord has prepared, I think we would probably switch to considering adopting from outside the US.  But we really haven't talked much about what that would look like.

I know that hundreds of you are praying.  And it would take pages to list all the ways God has prepared our family, the financial miracles, so many things that point to God opening doors for us to adopt.  But so far we're missing the key piece - the baby!!! 

It is not uncommon for domestic adopting families to experience at least one "failed" adoption, but I think we are getting close to setting some records!

Surely the Lord is up to something really significant in our lives.  I know He is.  But oh would you join us in praying that someway, somehow, something would happen in the next few days that would bring a baby into our home, and our family to a baby.