the last day

Friday - the big last day of (local) school.  We have a two month break before school starts up again in late August.  [Still waiting to hear if the girls got their names on the class roster at Peace Elementary... we should know by mid July.]

We made thank you cards and prepared small gifts for the teachers.  LOVE these ladies (3 per class).... oh my are they so kind, so patient, such encourage-rs of our children and our family.

Lydia with Liu Laoshi and Fu Laoshi before the final goodbye hug.

Julianna and Lydia headed down the stairs for the final time.

[Yes, I was fighting tears at this point!]

We stopped on the second floor landing to say a special goodbye to the headmaster, Wang Yuanzhang.  She's the one who made this whole deal possible - schools here are booked up early and when we moved into the neighborhood all the seats in her classrooms were taken.  But she opened the doors to our family and squeezed two more little people (Julianna and Lydia, then later Isaac) into her ranks.

She's hard to read and very reserved, so it took me a while to figure out if she even liked our family, but this last day she was so full of good words for us and just overflowing with gratitude that our three had been her students.  Conversations like that one are so encouraging to me - people SEE Jesus in our family, and we have so many opportunities, so many chances to say, "it's not me, my love is inadequate, my patience is limited, it's Jesus in my heart.  He changes me."

At the bottom of the stairs, showing off how "big" they've grown since they started at this sweet little place.  John Paul in the picture because he loves to be in pictures.  And that's his "big" arms :)

The seven at the gate.  The university where Matt teaches is a 2 minute walk from the school and he was on campus ... perfect since I would have missed some sweet goodbye conversations if I'd been chasing the little boys.

We stopped at CoCo on the way home for iced treats.  It was a super hot day (we hit the pool after naps) and CoCo is a fun way to celebrate. 

Proud of these three.  Locals often ask if our kids go to international school.

We often answer "well, it wasn't an international school until we showed up" :)

Starting this fall we'll be taking our international flair to a new preschool (Isaac) and elementary (Julianna and Lydia).  

like the big kids

Luke's got a long road ahead of him... a long road of chasing the big siblings.  His desire to be "just like the big kids" is already in full swing.

Check out his chopsticks eating demo below.

He is hardly competent with a bowl and spoon, but is determined to add chopsticks to his repertoire.  It's monkey see, monkey do around here. 

And the monkey is Luke. 

The picture of Luke totally reminds me of this picture of Isaac (age 2 1/2).  We all start somewhere, don't we?

But back to Luke... this guy runs himself ragged trying to keep up with the big kid antics.  He's also got a strong will of his own.  Try convincing him we aren't going to the playground when he wants to go to the playground!

His vocabulary is really taking off and last week he put two words together for the first time.  I turned off the light in his room for a nap and he said "on.... more".   I knew exactly what he meant :)  But vetoed his suggestion and let him nap instead. 

He is still a tricky baby (or maybe I should say toddler!).  Definitely the "hardest" I've had in many ways.  He's still on reflux medicine, still struggles to rest well during the day, still keeps me guessing what he'll do on any given day.  He's my reminder that all my good plans and intentions (that Luke often seems to spoil - try home schooling with a toddler that naps inconsistently, at best!)... anyways, Luke reminds me that my strength is really nothing, and God is good to accomplish mighty things in and through! my weakness and inadequacy. 

He's a precious little one, and I love the moments when he snuggles his head into my neck and relishes his baby role.  Usually it's only for a few minutes though, before he's off and running with the rest of them! 

the squinty smile

John Paul loves to mug for the camera.  EVERY time I pull out the camera he INSISTS that I take a picture of him. 

He's perfected his photo face.  And it looks like this...

here it is again....

and again .....

It's a big squinty grin.  I love it.  So one night we decided we'd imitate him.  Of course, it's the one picture where John Paul isn't squinting (or looking at the camera!), but it's still fun.  All of us know the "John Paul picture face".

We are just over a month away from the ONE YEAR anniversary of our Gotcha Day.  I can't believe it.  Even in the past month I feel like he's really grown even more "into" our family.  He has this new little smile that starts behind his eyes and is just pure relaxed joy and contentment.  I'm not sure how much of the new smile is just normal growth and development and how much of it is part of his continued "growing" into our family. 

But I love that smile.

Doubt I'll ever get photographic evidence of the new smile though.  As soon as he sees the camera he whips out the big squinty grin :) 

long day. short night.

Big Asian City. 

Totally worth it.

 

[Love this picture of Matt.  Such a typical pose, the classic Matt smile, everything.  Too bad that pole got in the way.]

We made a quick trip yesterday to finish some paperwork issues for John Paul's visa to the United States.  Even though he's 100% adopted and 100% ours, he is still a Chinese citizen and we're working on finalizing his paperwork so that he can fly to the U.S. and attain U.S. citizenship later this fall.

If I had to travel anywhere I'd choose to do it with this man.  We had such a great day.  

 

1.8 percent

I read an article a few days ago, a book review actually, and the article whet my appetite to read the entire book.  (Read the article here, the book is What to Expect When No One's Expecting: America's Coming Demographic Disaster.)

I don't agree with everything the article says, but I really resonate with certain excerpts.

{quote from the article linked above}: It used to be that the elites had more children, but now they noticeably have fewer children than people on the lower end of the social spectrum. In the culture’s eyes, children have gone from being a marker of success to an indicator of failure (72).

{another quote}: The basic reason countries stop having children is because they’ve come to see offspring as a liability rather than a source of hope (175). As Christians, we know better.

{and the quote that grabbed me most}: The percentage of women in America who have five or more children is 1.8 percent (79).

I've actually wondered recently how 'common' it is to have five.  I have few reliable markers.  The local community is so desperately damaged by the one child policy that I ventured into the "too many children" category when I was pregnant with Lydia.

The expat community here is such a narrow slice of the American population that I could never draw conclusions based on my American friends.  Five is hardly "a lot" in our crowd - most all Americans I know have at least three, many have four.  This makes for incredibly lively, hope-filled family gatherings where kids outnumber adults 2:1.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

I do not think that we are all supposed to have lots of kids.  I do not think that families with fewer children made poor choices.  I do not think that what God has for me is what God has for you.

What I know is this:  These five are precious beyond words.

(ack, I have so many more jumbled thoughts on this subject and it's not all ready to show up very clearly on the screen, so after typing and deleting for about ten minutes I'll stop here.)

1.8%

That's a pretty elite group. 

meet (another) neighbor

Okay, this is kind of a funny one.  But it highlights a big part of my life here in the neighborhood. 

Background: this culture (generally speaking) L-O-V-E-S a chunky baby.  [A white chunky baby?  Even better.  Blond, blue-eyed chunky baby?  Best ever.]  As a country they are not too many generations removed from tragic famine (1958-1961), so the obsession with well-fed children is easily understood. 

Grandmas are most often primary care-givers for little ones here and they spend hours obsessing over how to get their babies chunkier. 

I could never count the number of times I've been asked what brand of milk my kids drink - like the trick to getting stocky children is the brand? 

None of my children are lightweights, but John Paul and Luke definitely earn the most points for body stature. 

I suspect this grandma has laid awake nights wondering how to get her little guy up to speed with Luke's pace of growth.  He's three days younger than Luke (prime-time comparison perfection - only three days apart in age!) but.... well..... he's never ever ever going to be as big as Luke! 

I have told her (and many others) over and over again, "Listen, it's not what I feed him, it's his GENES!  He is a big guy!  He has big uncles (two of them)!!  He was 10 pounds at birth!  He's just BIG.  God made him big.  It's not what I feed him.  I promise!  Look at all of my kids, we eat at the same table and they are each different!  Your baby is not small.  He is a perfectly normal healthy size.  It's not fair to compare him to Luke."

She doesn't want to hear me.  She's convinced I know some secret trick to big babies.

[I ran into her when she was shopping for these shoes - fake purple crocs that look like sneakers.  Pretty awesome grandma footwear, huh?]

This is when I say, "Gentle Luke, be gentle."

Look at their legs!  Their shoulders, their hands! 

Fifteen years from now Luke will be at least eight inches taller and sixty pounds heavier than this guy. 

No matter what his Grandma feeds him!

it's a zoo

Busy busy.  Always busy, and almost always MAKING something!  That's my Julianna. 

It's her zoo.  And it comes with a free map for ticketed guests.

I wonder what she'll do "when she grows up".  Her current plans are to be a dance teacher/art teacher/translator who does speech therapy with cleft kids at an orphanage in China. 

Told you she was busy :) 

the neighbors (part one)

You know your time is getting short when you start taking photographs of the ordinary.  Things that have seemed commonplace and not-so-photo worthy for the past years take on new significance when the days are numbered, and I'm keeping the camera close by to capture photos of the people who make this neighborhood special for us.

This lady (I call her Grandma, a very appropriate way to address her and others women of her generation) is near the top of the list.  She's just a treat to be with - always smiling, the gift of encouragement, delights in our family.  She lives directly across from us so we see each other LOTS.  She and her husband (who hardly says more than two words, ever!) live with their son, his wife, and their grandson.  She is a new believer and I will miss her terribly! 

This might be the man Luke will miss most.  Almost every morning we are out in the courtyard after breakfast (I am hanging laundry, the boys are getting nice and grubby as a good start to the day).  And almost every morning this Grandpa walks by (he lives upstairs and passes us on his way out).  And almost every morning he picks Luke up and takes him for a little stroll up and down the path near our building.  Luke knows the routine and as soon as he hears this Grandpa call out 庆光 (Luke's Chinese name) he trots over to the gate of our courtyard and waits to be picked up for his walk :) 

His wife is a special friend too - and their daughter and her husband live two buildings away, so we've really gotten to know their whole family.  Their daughter spent a year in England and teaches Law at a nearby university.  She's 'famous' in our family because she used to have two kittens that Julianna loved to play with :)

And last for this post, one of the few stay-at-home mothers I get to spend time with (a stay at home mom is a rarity here, and this lady is actually working part-time, but when she is home she is often outside and we bump into each other frequently). 

I really like her for a lot of reasons - she's always fun to talk to, she really enjoys motherhood, and she is quick to stop and visit.  In the picture she's holding her second daughter - she is one of three moms I know of in our entire complex with a second child!  (Her older daughter is five and was at school when I took the picture.)

I hate leaving these relationships.  And I really hate moving into a place where I start from scratch.  While I'm not always a fan of the "everyone knows Laura, mother of five, the only white woman living anywhere near here" status, there are perks.  I much prefer being known, greeted, smiled at, waved at, chit-chatted with ..... I prefer that to the awkward stares that I will certainly get when we hit the new neighborhood. 

With two much-loved neighborhoods under my belt, places where I feel God was kind to give us sweet (and significant!) relationships with our neighbors, I can walk in with a confident vision of the relationships God might choose to grow in our new place. 

But no doubt about it, those early weeks in our new place I will be MISSING here.  MISSING these people.  MISSING these relationships! 

D-A-D-D-Y (year #2)

So much for originality.  We gave Matt the exact same thing we gave last year, only updated with newer pics.

It's still a really fun present.  And combined with the stacks of art work the kids made for Matt, it added up to be a pretty fun Father's Day.  Plus I've got NC (eastern) style BBQ in the crock pot, slaw in the fridge and some friends are joining us for supper.  Alisa is bringing (homemade) hamburger buns and mac n cheese.  I'm going to fry up some hushpuppies and it'll be just like the real deal..... minus the banana pudding - we've had a crazy full weekend with Julianna as a flower girl in a wedding that kept me hopping and out of the house a ton over the past few days, so no banana pudding this time around :(

The goal wasn't perfection, which was a good thing :)  And we had a fun time posing, at least right up until the end when we worked on the big D with all five kiddos and Luke was tired of this little activity.  Alas, little guy had no vision for the end project, and we all know that where there is no vision the people perish, right? 

So consider that first D with all five kiddos a great illustration of a perishing baby with no vision for his Daddy's Father's Day gift :)

Happy Father's Day Matt.  You're the best of the best.  What a privilege to journey parenthood with you!  

Peace Elementary

The dreamed-up plan is this: next year Julianna and Lydia will both start first grade at the public elementary school down the street from our new apartment.  Julianna (7 1/2 yrs old) will probably be one of the oldest in her class, Lydia (turns 6 in August) barely meets the age cut off. 

A week or so ago Matt and I gathered piles and piles of documentation - passports and rental contracts and residence registration and birth certificates (authenticated and notarized) and proof that we had registered our rental contract at the housing bureau and, well, just piles and piles of paper.  The paper chasing and paper piling was totally worth it though, because in the end we qualified the girls for free public education in our city.  Woohoo!

Now we wait for the provincial level education office to assign them to an elementary school.  We've requested Peace Elementary (two blocks from our new house!) but it's not for sure yet, and we'll not know for another few weeks. 

The girls are nervous.  And excited.  So am I ;)  Ideally they'll spend part of their mornings at the elementary school, then we'll finish up the day with some home school in the afternoons.  But it might not work out like that, and right now we're trying to be flexible with all our plans.

Academically, Chinese school is not-for-wimps :)  Right now I feel confident that the girls are very well prepared (though I think they'll struggle with the pace the teacher sets in learning/memorizing characters). 

But for now, we are excited that God has called us, and them, to this path.  We're anxious to see where they are assigned, and praying that they'll get sent to Peace Elementary. 

(The pic above is of a first grade classroom at Peace.  We dropped by last week for an unofficial tour and met the principal.) 

time for some new shoes

This morning we went shoe shopping.  "We" = me and the five.  Shoe shopping with the five is not for the faint of heart :)  But honestly, we had a blast.  These kiddos are so fun!  And my big girls, my gracious, can I just brag on them and say that THEY ARE CHAMPION BIG SISTERS! 

So anyways, four needed new shoes and they are all modelling them in this picture from the afternoon.

By the way, can you guess what we're up to in this picture?!?!?

parenting in a parking lot

This picture brings two thoughts to the front of my mind.

First, oh wow am I going to miss our neighbors.  Our "best" neighbors, the ones we see the most and have the best relationship with, are just precious precious people who love us well.  Julianna spends hours at their home.  HOURS!  The other kids too, but Julianna especially adores her "ayi" and loves to go visit. 

And the second thought, totally unrelated, but front-and-center when I look at this picture:  I am so tired of parenting in a parking lot.  Our complex, like many others, is overrun with vehicles.  Car ownership is rising at lightning fast rates.  It's rare to find an apartment complex that planned well (even those just a few years old) for this massive invasion of personal vehicles.  Cars are stuffed and tucked into every nook and cranny - anywhere and everywhere turned into a parking spot. 

Yes, I realize our family is part of the problem.  We want a spot for our vehicle just as much as anyone else :) 

But one of the requests on the top of our list in our search for new housing was this: only underground parking!  And we got it!  Our new complex (brand new!) claims a massive underground parking garage (elevator access direct to our front door) and that means that there are NO CARS ON GROUND LEVEL!!!!  Woohoo!  There are some car free areas in our current complex, but far too few.  And for the kids, they want to ride bikes (fast) and speed around corners (top speed, Isaac always says!).  They want to play soccer without loosing balls under parked cars.  I want to be able to take the kids outside without constantly keeping an eye out for the next approaching vehicle. 

As the emotional cost of moving starts to mount (leaving friends and neighbors, leaving a home that we have loved for three years), it's helpful for me to get excited about the benefits of our new place.  And one biggie: No more parenting in a parking lot! 

she's got it

A few months ago Lydia stepped up to the plate.  The challenge: read through our entire Beginner's Bible.  The reward: A Bible of her own. 

Lydia likes a challenge.  She read.  She read and read and read.  She read chapters to anyone who would listen.  Sweet (not-so-English-speaking) babysitters listened to Lydia read to them in English.  I listened while I cooked.  Listened while I changed diapers.  Listened while I cuddled up with her on the couch (and she'd breeze through multiple chapters at a time).

She LOVED it!  And she was racing towards her reward. 

There was an ordering mix up on my first attempt at buying her Bible so it wasn't here when she finished page 526. 

 
But when it arrived a few weeks later she was ready to dig in to the package!  Matt and I carefully selected an ESV Bible for Julianna and then we later went back to buy for Lydia and realized we had a small problem.  The Bible comes in two colors - purple and blue.  We told the girls their Bibles would be identical and they decided to spend their saved up money on Bible covers. 

(Note: If you'd like to expand the horizons of your patience abilities, may I suggest online shopping for cute girl-y Bible covers with my daughters?  If I hadn't finally put my foot down, insisted on narrowing our options and finally hit 'head to checkout' button we might still be shopping!)

 

And the girls have this new (incredibly endearing) habit of reading aloud in unison before bed.  This particular night they were reading the Intro to the Book of Daniel (not sure how they made their choice).  They later declared they'd read the entire Bible and started off right in Genesis 1.  They got bogged down pretty quickly and tonight I steered them towards the NT and they read the birth of Jesus from Matthew. 

Sweet little girls.  Oh Jesus, would you capture their hearts. 

peaches, just pickin' peaches

We have a friend whose wife is from an area about 45 minutes out of town - her parents still live there, and they have orchards that produce all kinds of yummy goodness: cherries, peaches, plums.  Since peach season is in full swing (and in this part of the country that's a REALLY BIG deal!) we joined a big group of folks and headed out on Saturday for a day in the country.

We weren''t even halfway there and I was already breathing easier - crazy switch back turns and skinny paved roads and all - there's just something so refreshing about being outside of this crazy multi-million-person mega-city. 

And my kids just want to get down and dirty.  Hot and sweaty.  Pick peaches, eat hotdogs off the grill, inhale watermelon like oxygen and climb hot dusty hills with lots of other little companions. 

I took very few pictures (hello and important note: anyone who'd like a serious workout can start by keeping track of John Paul and Luke in this kind of environment.  Add in one sweaty hike with baby on back and you'll know why the camera was out of reach most of the day!)

But in the few pictures was this gem.  Maybe one of my favorite Isaac pictures ever.

This look means: "Mom, I am a warrior.  I carry long heavy sticks, traipse through undergrowth and nearly fall off the side of a cliff before lunch (true story, thank you Jesus that he didn't fall far cause it was a long way down!)  Please do not even dream of taking my picture with that silly camera."

Of course, tough as he may look, the almost-devastating fall clearly rattled him.  He seemed just fine til I walked up but something about eye contact with Mommy tends to bring out the emotions, huh? 

It was an awesome day.  We've been before, and we'll go again.  Hopefully sooner than later.

my teacher's class

This semester I taught one of Matt's classes.  It's a very informal arrangement (and a very informal class for that matter) and although it didn't work out quite as smoothly as I hoped, I'm still really glad I did it.

[The not quite so smooth part .... originally Matt thought he'd be able to watch the kids while I taught (2 hrs Friday afternoon) but in actuality he was rarely available and I scrambled for child care, which was somewhat stressful.  But, we're up for trying again next semester, depending on the class timing.  I really do enjoy a chance to do something outside my typical realm of responsibility, and I really really enjoy the students.]

So, my students were teachers - university teachers - with very advanced degrees in very skilled sciences like optoelectronics and telecommunications engineering.  It would have been intimidating to teach them anything BUT English - my engineering skills are limited but my English is quite good :)

The class is small, the students (teachers?) are eager to learn, and they already have strong backgrounds in English - but very few opportunities to practice speaking and listening.

I invited them to my house for our final class.  So fun!  It's a pretty relaxed classroom environment but even more fun to have them in our home! 

I prepared a sampling of food treats for them to try - yeast bread (and showed them how to spread butter), banana bread (almost always a hit), brownies (I knew they would think it was too sweet) and popcorn (popcorn here is lightly sweetened and I wanted them to know the salty goodness of hot popcorn!)

{Everything cut in small pieces so they could sample and then go back for more of the things they liked!}

I don't think I'm always this animated in front of a group of people, but maybe?!?!?  I do love things like this - I did a ton of public speaking when I worked for the UNC Admissions Office and a few weeks ago Matt and I did a lecture on campus to about 200 students. 

The woman on my left in the picture just got invited to be a visiting scholar at an American university.  She's so nervous, and excited, and full of questions!  She brought her 5 year old daughter to play with my kids during our 'class'.  The lady in the middle has a baby boy just a few months younger than Luke.  So neat to connect with those other mommas! 

But some of my students are much older than me - several of them have children in college.  It's a very eclectic group and we had a great time this semester.