where is our new normal?

Moments like these seem fairly elusive.  

Parenting through this transition seems to take 110% of what I've got.  Everyone seems a little off kilter, emotions running a little higher than normal, we're far from the dreamed of "considering others more important than ourselves" and "gentle answers turning away wrath".  

Getting a meal on the table still seems like a herculean task.  Tonight we had peanuts, scrambled eggs and yogurt for dinner.  Don't laugh.  I'm all in favor of healthy balanced meals but for now I'll settle for full tummies and what's on the pantry shelf.  

Tomorrow I'm hoping to add a little backbone to our days, something to give us some structure from morning to night.  I've got another dreamed of shopping trip to gather meal-ingredients and a list of things to get prepped and stocked in the deep freezer.  We're 24 hours from hitting the "one week since arrival" mark and I think this week we will get a lot closer to landing on our new normal.  

At least I hope so :)  

ups and downs

Wednesday was miserable.  Little sleep, that horrid jet-lag-foggy-brained feeling, my first day driving (oh the insanity of the roads!) and a trip to a mega-store to start restocking the kitchen (always stressful, exacerbated by culture shock, re-entry stress, etc).

But Wednesday night showed up and we put the kids in bed and there was MUCH sleep. Still a little foggy brained (for me this is like a cross between car-sick and light-headed) but on the whole, Thursday was a much better day.  And after Wednesday, I needed it!

I still can't figure out what to put on the table (and I have many mouths to feed!) but a few more trips for groceries (in this country there is no one-stop-shop, it takes many trips to many locations to fill the pantry) and I'll be in business.  We did have two families over for pizza last night (lots of help in the kitchen and a simple menu) - it felt "normal" to be making pizzas for a crowd.

3 families adds up quick - 12 kids between us :)

mostly joy with a smidge of chaos thrown in for good measure!

Matt started cranking up at work yesterday but was home early and I still feel like I "need him" around as we are getting settled and transition stress is not-yet-history.  Thankful that today (Friday) is another light day for him.  And that he is currently waking children who slept hard all night long and that my house helper is on her way and my girls are headed for a sleepover with friends (some of their dear dear buddies who leave on Monday - sigh).

A little banking/money exchange as the kids switch their cash to the local currency :)  

So mostly it's been up and down this week.  Right this minute is "up" (clearly, I'm online! I'm sitting! I'm thinking in complete sentences!)  But there are plenty of "down" moments too.

I'll sign off with two pics from the "road".... pure silliness in the Newark airport

then pretending they were airplanes (with the NYC skyline in the distance)

By our next stop we had no energy for silliness... picture exhausted children sprawled on the floor of the airport while we sweated our way through incredibly long lines at EVERY stop (immigration, elevators, re-check, etc).  It was, well.... it was not anyone's finest moment.

Off to tend to the flock...

We're here.

The trip went fine.  Some parts hard, some parts easier.  

I'm exhausted.  We all are.  

But we're here.  And we'll feel MUCH better in two or three more days.  I know it!  

larger or worth less than ...

a hundred dollar bill.

Packing is constant decision making, choosing between what goes and what stays.  Some choices are quite obvious.  Winter clothes for the children?  (Must go.)  Some are more difficult. How many children's books can I part with?!?  (I wish they could all go, but they just can't.)  And some are crystal clear to me but fall in the "difficult" category for the younger set.  Isaac's 3 lb. sea shell collection?  The wooden shelf Julianna made?  (No way, no how... but you have to deliver this answer carefully!)

Late in the game today I decided that the rule of thumb was this:  If it's larger than or worth less than a hundred dollar bill, it doesn't go!

In all seriousness, we have 6.5 bags packed.  That means we are down to 25 more pounds before we tip the scales and pay overweight charges (no thanks!).  We'll also have plenty of carry on, and at this point, the hard decisions are history and the last load of laundry (in the dryer) will definitely fit :)

In an effort to head off some of the packing-crazies that infect us all we started our day on the greenway.

It worked ok.  Good outdoor fun, no one fell in the river (only a few close calls!) and the packing-crazies were mostly contained.

We leave for the airport at 5:15am.  Flight to Newark and then a noon departure for the big country.  One last transfer to a domestic flight and we could potentially be at our apartment by 9:00 pm (local time), making it a 28 hour journey, door to door.  There's plenty of room for our itinerary to self-destruct though, and I won't be counting any hours, just putting one foot in front of the other (or at least trying to).

Oh for grace, to trust Him more.

it's not the well or the bell or the stone walls....

Last date night in America.  One of the best date spots ever.

We left mid afternoon, ran a few last errands and headed to Chapel Hill. 

I can't imagine a better place to spend our last date :)  It was such a sweet evening, we walked all over campus, ate twice (he he! - so many great spots to dine!) and I. Just. Love. Carolina.  

Actually, the whole day was great.  We started with a big packing spree and were knee deep in clothing when the doorbell rang.  

Visas!  Perfect timing, huh?  Only three of us needed new visas to re-enter (Isaac and I had new U.S. passports, John Paul his first ever U.S. passport) and the process that *should* have been simple turned longer and more complicated than we hoped.  

I was especially wary of trying to reschedule a flight, nervous that this late in the game (booking a summer flight last minute) it would be hard to get seven seats on one airplane.  But no need to worry. Our whole family is passport/visa ready two whole days before take off :) 

We're off to the Science Museum for the morning......

the picnic

It's no secret I love a picnic.

What's not to love?  [Ok, ok, mosquitos can be a bear sometimes... but worth it!  And I guess, now that I use that figure of speech, that real bears would be much worse than mosquitos at any picnic!]

Our last America picnic (i think... only a few nights left and no more picnicking plans) was a blast.  Old old friends, we spent 8 sweet months with these folks during our first year of marriage, and oh the things the Lord has done in our lives and theirs.

Yet another gorgeous park.  (And you know I love that sky!)

We mamas visited.

And so did the dads.

And so did the kids :)

Two of the girls were interested in writing some characters and the chalk got well-used.  My kiddos weren't quite as captivated as the others.  But they churned out some impressive work (mostly numbers).

Aren't we a great looking group?!?!

[This is the best smile John Paul has ever dished out for a group photo.  If only we could gather with these folks for a Christmas card pic we'd really be in business.]

And we rocked the crazy face photo too!

These are the friendships we enjoy re-connecting with - and look forward to our next picnic too :)

cute kids and a wagon

Ok so today was MUCH better than yesterday.  As in much Much MUCH better!

My list isn't so intimidating.  Same list of course... so I guess it's more accurate to say my list doesn't seem so intimidating.  Attitude and perspective are important, huh?

Last Friday morning we loaded up and headed home from the beach.  We wanted to be good and ready for a big family party Saturday afternoon.  My youngest cousin graduated high school (yay Maddie!) and this family never looks far for an excuse to party.

The adults mostly talked (and laughed!)

John Paul mostly maintained a death grip on his favorite uncle (my dad's youngest brother, Kelly)

and the newest generation couldn't rip themselves away from this garden wagon.

It was awesome.

Not just the wagon.  Love hanging out with this family!!

should be working on my list

I know, I'm so far behind.  Overwhelmed too.

With any luck, this feeling will only last about two more weeks :)

I woke up grumpy, maybe because one of my early risers crashed-closed the bedroom door behind him, waking up the rest of the boys' room occupants and starting our day earlier than I was hoping.  I put early riser in bed with Matt, got Luke and snuggled into John Paul's bed... but there was no more rest for the weary.

Hello, 6:45am.  I'm so not glad to see you.

We {I?} tried to pull ourselves together.  Breakfast, and a jump start on my mega-list.

Only 19 million things to do before we leave.  That's a relief.

I was hanging up a phone call,  grumping my way back upstairs when Luke stopped me.

"My foot hurts."  Before I could intervene John Paul came running.  Ready to pass out kisses to the injured.  It didn't take long before they were spotting all sorts of scars and recalling old wounds.  Let the kisses roll....

I was perking up, because who doesn't when your 2 and 3 yr olds are dishing out kisses?  But there was more to do before lunch.  Errands.  Oh yeah.

God is so good to me.

A recipe for total disaster... grumpy tired kids plus grumpy tired momma plus big box storeS (yes, plural!) .... but while I was grumping my way through "I said get in your seat" and "Please don't yell at me, I'm right here" God was busy putting people in my path who would go out of their way to encourage me.

We practically couldn't walk past someone without them commenting about the kids.  "All yours? Aren't you blessed!"  "I love big families, it's so cool how they interact with one another."  And on and on and on.

I was beaming before we got home.  And we're all going to bed early tonight!

[hoping to get up some photos from the last few days - a big family gathering and picnic with old friends - but it might be a while.  gotta go work on that mega-list.]

a walk on the pier

We're back!  It's not often I'm awake after midnight but last night's drive saw us pulling in about 12:30.  And guess what?  No mercy from the littles this morning!  Luke snuggled in with us before 7am!  

So so good to all be together again!  And such a nice place to be together.  Another great day on the beach and then after dinner it was time to head down for a walk on the pier.

I was relieved to see that the railing looked plenty sturdy.  Still, we expended quite a bit of effort keeping track of the little two.  See John Paul considering a little rail climbing?

Out at the end we met a man planning to catch big fish.  Really big... last night he caught a six foot 175 pound shark.

I'm secretly glad we weren't there for the shark catch.  It does sound cool.  But a shark the size of my husband?  Ummmmm.....

A smidge closer to shore we cozied up to a few fishermen (and women).  Lucky us, they were catching lots.  And, even better (!!) they were willing to let our kiddos reel in the catch!

I would have paid for this experience.  This is MY KIND OF FISHING!  Someone else gathers the gear, deals with bait, casts the line, catches the fish.  Then, at just the right moment, they hand the rod to one of my children to reel in the baby shark.

It will surprise none of you to learn that John Paul eagerly reached for the sharks (only about 12 inches long) and helped toss them back into the water.  Must have been pretty friendly looking sharks because all the kids were clamoring for their chance to catch one and toss it back over the edge.

Recognize these two as siblings?  Luke's hair is still practically white but in this heat and humidity his curls rival Lydia's.

Just a beautiful evening on the pier.

Great end to a great day.

left (but headed back)

Matt and I are away from the beach for two days.

Why?  Good question.  Honestly, there are very few good reasons to leave the beach.  I'm not sure how Matt convinced me to do it.  But he did - we're in Raleigh, getting a few things done - and the kids are at the beach with my parents.

It's a bit like a date for us :)

We saw lots of fun people, and really got to catch up with several sets of old friends.  Great stuff.

And the kids at the beach?

Oh they're doing JUST FINE.  Really really fine :)  Ice cream cones on the deck fine.

One more day in the big city and we'll have a late night drive back to the beach house.  And as much as I miss a car full of little ones.... well, I'm glad that these two drives are kid-free.  We have an airplane ride or three on the horizon, so I best get my low-stress travel taken care of while I can!

the Nap Monster

Many of the houses here at the beach have fun names, cute names, play-on-words names.

As a kid I loved reading all the names and I'm teaching my children to like it too!  We spent part of the afternoon at a park (crazy winds and rough seas today so we skipped our afternoon beach session).  On the drive home we covered almost 120 blocks of beach, driving slow and reading house names.  Several times we pulled over to let traffic pass us by, but it's not a busy week here and traffic is very light :)

One of Isaac's favorites is "the Nap Monster" - a house just a block or so west of ours.  The Nap Monster is actually for sale, and if John Paul were a potential buyer, I'd nominate him as "most worthy nap-monster-ing owner".

This guy can nap!  It's one of his superpowers.

For all of you who are dreaming of a child with a napping superpower, can I remind you that for almost two years I've parented both the nap monster (John Paul) and the nap destroyer (Luke).  If anything, John Paul's monstering of the naps made Luke's constant sleep deprivation a more bitter pill to swallow.

[Quick update on Luke:  He is totally off reflux meds.  Since January he's also been on meds to help him rest!  The gastroenterologist thought that his reflux was well enough controlled but after almost two years of very little sleep his body almost *couldn't* rest.  The progress was slow, but I'm super thankful for where we are now - still on these sleep-assisting meds, but hoping to wean off of them later this year.  And he does sleep!]

Back to my nap monster.... John Paul needs to break the habit!  A few months ago it became obvious that he'd much rather nap away the afternoon and then stay up super late with Mommy and Daddy.  As fun as this plan must have sounded to him, Mommy is just not interested in a late night play session with this child (or any child, for that matter!)

At the end of the day, well, it's the end of the day.  I'm ready for lights out kiddos! (I realize this is partly selfish desire, partly realistic limitations and capacity).

So I started transitioning John Paul to an afternoon "rest/reading day".

Anyone who knows John Paul well knows that a task like "stay on this blanket and look at books" is almost impossible.  This boy was born to move.  But I was committed .... me and John Paul, working together, we could learn to do this.

Ha!

If I can get to him to stop moving, I've effectively sent him off to dreamland.  Early afternoon the equation is this one....

not in constant motion = asleep.

The result is still favorable :)  He's napping shorter, and less soundly.  A nap on the floor or the couch or the middle of the living room is much different than a deep snooze tucked under the covers in a dimly lit bedroom.

And he's ready for bed about the same time as the rest of the crew.  Can I get an AMEN on that one?!?!?!

And if John Paul is ever interested in some Brunswick County real estate, I think I know just the place for him :)

riding a ferry

This morning we rode the ferry to Fort Fisher and headed straight for the NC Aquarium.

A ferry ride is - generally speaking - a great way to start your day.

We saw a huge ship (mostly empty) headed for the ports at Wilmington.  It was flying the American flag, not sure where it was coming from, or what kind of cargo it carried, but I bet that ship has some stories to tell.  

This baby face looks innocent enough - his white blond curls and piercing blue eyes grab plenty of attention.

But he is a riot on the beach.

They all are!

We enjoyed our aquarium visit, and picnic at the Fort Fisher historical site, and stop at the county library (on the way back to the house) to pick up a pile of books.

But it's the beach that really holds the attention of these little people.  We are practically the only people here this week... and like my dad says, "there's plenty of sand and water for everyone".

picking a spot to settle

I slept in eight different beds in a ten night stretch.  Bed #8 was last night at the Wheel House - the same beach house I've visited since, well.... forever.  My parents actually came to this beach house together when they were dating!  

You could say we have a bit of history here :) 

After all my bouncing around the previous nights, I was ready to settle!  And I must say, we picked a great spot!

Matt dug a huge hole for the kids to enjoy.  (No plastic shovels allowed, this kind of whole calls for a man-sized garden shovel.)  Digging big holes in the sand is a favorite memory of mine, and it was all kinds of fun for these kiddos.

The hole is perfectly placed near the high tide line and survived one high already today, but I think we'll be reconstructing within a few days as the tide brought in lots of sand!  [Time for some more shoveling, Matt :)]

My dad brought out a kite and the wind did the rest!

And late afternoon we put this little pool out on the deck.  Quite the view these boys have (though they ignore the beauty and mostly bicker over who gets to play with the green bucket..... sigh).

Burgers on the grill (how's that for an audience? Matt could start a cooking show!)

and it was off to bed for the little troops.

So grateful this house is still in the family, and so grateful to introduce my family to the beauty of this place.  [Julianna the only one who's ever visited before... I was 37 weeks pregnant with baby Lydia the last time I was here!]

And now, almost seven years later, I finally brought that baby back.