surgery date set

John Paul's cleft palate repair surgery is set.  We check into the hospital Monday morning.  He'll have preliminary blood work and some other evaluations that day.  Surgery will be Tuesday if nothing unusual happens and his blood work results are good (please pray for this!  he'll need to be looking and feeling healthy as can be before the surgeon will agree to move forward!)

We will most likely be in the hospital til Thursday. 

Folks, I am officially way out of my league. 

Right now I'm mostly preoccupied trying to arrange help with our other children, figuring out what we need to take the hospital, getting some stuff prepped for when we return home, etc. 

But I'm thinking I'll panic and stress at some point, probably late weekend :) 

Please do be praying for our little boy.  Pray that the surgery would be successful beyond all of our expectations.  I've been praying that God would use this surgery to give John Paul a voice... and also praying hard that John Paul's voice would praise and honor Jesus.  Oh that he would grow up to be a man who speaks daily of God's goodness to him. 

Luke's list

Sweet Luke is busy crossing things off his to-do list.

1. get serious about pulling up on the furniture.  check.

2. grow a few teeth.  check.

[No teeth pics yet, I'll work on it!]

[honest momma moment: I totally missed the appearance of tooth #1.  I mean, badly missed it.  By the time I realized the tooth was there it was at least a week old.  Tooth #2 is already here too.  My best guess is tooth #1 showed up a bit before he hit the seven month mark.]

3. map out his escape route.  check.

[this little guy can be out the door in a millisecond, so can his big bro.  keeps Mommy on her toes.] 

4. grip strengthening exercises.  check. 

Luke can squeeze/pinch/grab my face so hard that it brings tears to my eyes.  He would be an incredible rock climber, I can just picture his chubby little fingers clinging to a rock face.  

5. work on his sumo-wrestler pose.  check.

Luke is huge.  He weighed 9lbs 14 oz at birth.  On my bathroom scale at the six month mark he was 19 lbs.  He's gotta be well on his way to 21 now.  My other kiddos weighed 21 lbs at their first birthday party.  Luke is one week past the 7 month mark.  This guy is no lightweight - which is fitting for his position at "bottom of the family heap".  My guess is that no one will mess with little brother for too long. 

6. start snoozing.  {tiny} check.

I can confidently say that Luke is doing better than he was one month ago.  He spits up less.  Arches his back less.  Cries out in pain less.  Maybe the short week he was on medication allowed his stomach, GI tract a little time to heal?  Maybe he is growing out of some of his reflux issues?  He still has some things that concern me.  He refuses ALL solids.  Everything.  (I'm planning to splurge on some imported Cheerios and see if he'll feed himself some finger foods?  Everything that approaches on a spoon is a no-go.)  

Two nights in a row Luke (and Matt and me!) have slept a solid five hour stretch.  I'm encouraged.  But still tired.  His days are still tough.  I have moments where I think "I'm not sure how much longer I can do this".   But I am still doing it.  He is such a sweet baby boy.  Adores his big sibs.  Loves his mama with a passion.

I can't wait to see what he's got on his to-do list for the rest of the month. 

whoa fall!

There are plenty of weeks that our weather is nothing to brag about.  But this week?  It seems every day is just beautiful! 

Today when the big three finished their quiet hour I told them "you must go directly outside to play, it's way too pretty to stay inside even one more minute!"

And they spent the entire morning outside too.  

This garden provides hours and hours and hours of entertainment.  Who knew dirt could fascinate so many little people for so long?

(in the yellow vest is a little neighbor friend - we're still at only five children here!)

Several times this week I moved Luke's exersaucer to the porch.  He's definitely at a stage where he has to be strapped into something or he is everywhere, eating everything!

[Behind him is our shoe rack - we, like every other household here - follow a no shoes in the house policy.  But with twelve feet (no shoes for Luke yet) we constantly had a big shoe explosion on the porch!  So I bought two metal racks, stacked them, and now everyone has their own drawer for shoes.  Pretty handy.]

And probably my favorite pictures from this morning..... I handed Julianna the camera and she captured us post-walk, heading in to lunch.

John Paul's tears showed up when I communicated that he could not lick his unopened Cheetos bag.  I know, I know... cruelty.

And then Lydia wanted a picture of her sitting next to Luke in the double.  I love this... Lydia grinning at him, Luke gazing up at her. 

when is dance class?

My girls are in an extra-curricular dance class at their school.  They love it.  And so do I.  We're so thankful for this little class. 

I could quickly list about fifteen reasons I am grateful for our local school (and dance class) experience.   And I'd come up with even more reasons if I had time to sit and think about it (note: I have little time to sit and think these days! ha!)

One of my top reasons to be grateful? Local school is teaching me SO MUCH about this culture!  After years of living here I still have (oh so) much to learn, and the local school experience is a great vehicle for learning it.  I'm also watching my kids pick up on all sorts of little local-isms..... turns out that they are not only learning to speak Chinese, but they have certain ways of "thinking Chinese". 

Maybe one day I'll do a whole post on little idiosyncrasies that I find cropping up in their conversation, or their actions, or their thought processes that make me cock my head and think "they totally think like a Chinese person in that aspect, and I bet they learned it at school". 

So back to the dance class scheduling craziness I'll-never-get-used-to-this-part-of-the-culture stuff :) 

The class is scheduled for 5:45 on Fridays.  And so far this fall the class has met four times.  Only one of those meetings was at the originally scheduled time.  The other three meetings were: Tuesday at 5:45, Thursday at 5:45 and Friday at 11:45.   We typically have about 36 hours notice that the class time is changing. 

Yet if you walked up to the school right now and asked them "what time is the dance class?", they would answer "Friday at 5:45".  Even though their current success rate at actually meeting at that time is only 25%!!!!

I'm not sure how other families flex so well with all this last minute schedule changes, but I'm juggling the needs of five little people (and a husband who conveniently works different evening hours - especially, you guessed it! on Tuesdays and Thursdays!) 

When dance class happens (as it is scheduled to happen!) at 5:45 on Friday our family runs smooth as silk - quick early dinner for the littles, Matt runs the girls off to class, I start bedtime for the others then walk to go pick up the girls while Matt finishes up with the boys here.  I actually really enjoy the evening walk to go meet them, it's one of my best "down time 20 minutes" of the week.

But when dance class happens at other times... well, it takes a little (or a LOT) of flexing from this Mama.  And I'm learning to do it graciously.  And watching my girls take it in stride!  This is how they roll - or rather, how they are learning to roll with the culture.  

I might need a few semesters of local school myself.  Or, I guess, in a way I'm getting my own "schooling" just sending my children!  So thankful for this -

A random pic of our big three dancing at home.  We have a Chinese praise and worship DVD produced in Hong Kong that totally reminds me of Kids Incorporated (remember that?) without the cheesy acting.  My girls are big fans.  Even Isaac will participate with the big sisters :)  John Paul knows the hand motions too, and I spot him waving his arms from his car seat in the back of the van when I play this CD. 

they look like this

Our friends were only here for a short few days but we LOVED having them!  Such encouragement to welcome friends to this part of the world!  And to introduce them to our friends here - we so enjoy these times when our two worlds (America and China) collide.

Nicolle took so many great photos of our children, and I realize that I haven't posted much of them these days, so here's a photo heavy post.... and now you'll know exactly what these five treasures of ours look like!  

My biggest girl.... [do I really have a child who is almost 7?!?!]

and my baby girl, looking so much like an elementary school-er these days

big brother extraordinaire (with carpet-burn on the nose, he is always sporting some sort of injury!)

and coming up on the three month mark with this little guy in our arms (and  yes, that smile of his charms e.v.e.r.y.b.o.d.y.)

my (big) blue-eyed baby boy

We have pics with our guests too, I guess they'll have to wait for the next post :) 

tidbits

We are back to square one with Luke.  The medicine seemed to (ironically) cause extreme stomach cramping and major gas issues and our nights got sooooooo bad.   So we quit the medicine, and we're back to our previous bad.  Which, I learned, is actually not as bad as it could be.  It's all relative, right?  Still, if you feel led to ask the Lord to provide some relief (and some sleep!) please do pray for us.  And pray that regardless of what the nights (and days!) hold that His grace would sustain us. 

My head is swirling and I'm mostly blogging in an attempt to ignore the other things on my to-do list, so here's a tidbit of what's on the table here at home.  

I recently got my first iphone.  It's an iphone3 that passed through two different owners before finding it's way to my pocket.  My favorite feature?  I can text America.  Also, I would like to point out that it is not a phone.  It's a computer that happens to look like a phone and can make phone calls.  Really - calling it a phone is misleading.  My old Nokia that cost me 30 dollars and absolutely refused to break despite being chewed by babies and tossed by toddlers is a phone.  This iphone is a computer for the pocket.  And I know, I know,  it's practically an antique. 

I'm in a new groove where I try to bake Friday mornings.  And I'm realizing that five children eat a lot of food.  (Well, technically Luke doesn't eat any food - that boy still refuses solids.  Your day is coming buddy....)  One loaf of quick bread (apple, banana, pumpkin, sweet potato) doesn't last through one breakfast.  A batch of granola goes fast too (I started doubling my old faithful recipe).  What am I going to do when these five are teenagers?!? 

Julianna went to tour an elementary school as part of her preschool class yesterday.  That girl is smitten with the idea of attending.  Let's hope it lasts! 

We have some out-of-country guests who will be here for the next few days.  I love this - so fun to show people our lives, and so encouraging to see familiar faces on our home turf. 

Some days it seems like the walls of our house are caving in.  I know that millions of people share a tin shack with their entire family, no plumbing, no electricity, no nothing.  I know that half of the world's population lives on less than 2 dollars per day.  I am grateful for our space.  But jeepers sometimes it feels full in this little apartment.  And our tiny bathroom where you can barely squeeze open the door if someone is sitting on the potty.... of course, none of our children closes the door when they use the bathroom anyways, so it's hardly an issue!

Tonight we are on plan C for dinner.  I planned to cook (Sicilian eggplant pasta), but after one incredibly full afternoon cooking just wasn't in the cards.  I realized about 3pm that dinner was a pipe dream and pulled some spaghetti sauce from the freezer.  But at 4 my stomach churned and head throbbed at the idea of making and cleaning up another meal (even from the freezer) so I bailed on dinner altogether and we're walking down the street to eat noodles.  Some days are like that, right? 

Speaking of, we've got tummies grumbling and Matt's been gracious to give me these minutes alone (when he got home from work and saw my face....!)  so I'm off!  

awkward letters

Yesterday I wrote a letter to John Paul's foster family.  I finally managed to pick up the photos I had developed (three weeks after they were ready!) and now I'm ready to send them off to his foster family, along with the note.  I'm sure they are eager to get them, and probably wondering why it takes me so long to get photos developed! 

Turns out that writing a letter to his foster family was kind of awkward.  There is so much to share.  And I also am not sure how much to share.  And I feel this pressure to impress them, assure them that I am an okay momma, and he is doing well.  Surely they worry a lot, miss him tons, wonder what he's doing and what he's up to and if he has a runny nose or a new toy and what his relationship with his new siblings looks like.

I told them he was healthy.  And usually happy.  I introduced his new siblings, and wrote about our courtyard, and how he loves to be outside.  I thanked them again, and told them we had one of the best cleft surgeons in China lined up to do his surgery (probably, hopefully early November). 

But there is a lot I didn't say.  I didn't tell them that I'm pretty sure they never read him books (which is not at all uncommon in a countryside area of China, children are not exposed to books early here).  I didn't tell her that sometimes, in the afternoons when I get him up from his nap, I get the distinct impression he is disappointed to find me, not her, opening the door to his room and picking him up out of his bed.

I didn't mention that he is a toothbrush fanatic, ("committed to dental hygiene" Matt says), and that I frequently find him cruising the house with toothbrush cocked and hanging from his mouth.  ["Does she know that? Did he love toothbrushes at their house too?"] 

I didn't tell her that I don't feed him noodles nearly as often as he'd probably like.  Or that he's learned chocolate desserts are worth waiting for.  Or that I cuddle him to sleep and lay him down snoozing for nap time, and wonder if he dreams of her. 

I hope this relationship, with his foster family, is one that we maintain for a lifetime.  And I know these letters will get easier to write.  And one day we'll be happy to tell him that we are in touch with his foster family.  And we'll show him pictures, of him in her arms, and invite ourselves to go visit.

I did tell her that he loves his new siblings.

And that the feeling is mutual. 

[John Paul initiated this little interaction - pulled up the little chair and plopped it right in front of baby brother.]

[And yes, I know there is a pile of laundry in the background.  I was tempted to crop it out.  But hey, it's my reality.  There should be a group for people like me.  "Hello, my name is Laura.  And I have a laundry problem."] 

Luke and the proton pump inhibitor

It's been almost seven months since Luke made his precious appearance.  In some ways, I would say the time has flown by.  Ohmygracious, my baby boy is over halfway to ONE!

But there have been times that the months seemed long.  Luke didn't sleep.  In the early months it didn't seem too rough, I just kept thinking that surely nice long night sleep, and some decent day naps, were just around the corner.

And the months piled up.  While the sleep did not.  Luke is a happy boy.  Smiley, strong as a (baby) ox, active and on the move.  He made us laugh, blew us bubbles, goo-goo'd and gaa-gaa'd with the best of babies.

But he still did not sleep.  If anything he got worse.  Up multiple times each night.  Daytime naps that averaged about thirty minutes.  It was no strange thing for him to sleep a total of 90 minutes all day long!  And the night wakings got longer and harder.  He was less willing to go back to sleep after a cuddle or good feeding.

I started weaning, thinking that maybe he just wasn't getting enough to eat.  (And knowing that with the lack of sleep and other demands on myself, it was entirely possible that good nutrition - for him and me - was a culprit.)  Probably 90% of his caloric intake is now formula.  No change in his sleep.  And even after I attempted to intro solids at about 5 1/2 months - nada.  He refused (and continued to refuse) solids.  No interest at all.  I didn't get too worried (my others didn't start til later than that), but still, it just seemed like something wasn't right.

He often slept with me at night, and I knew he was waking in pain.  Or, at the very least, discomfort.  It wasn't a squiggle, then squirm, the grunt, then wake up kind of a waking.  It was a from-the-depths-of-sleep-cry-out-loud kind of waking. 

And Matt and I were getting desperate for some rest. 

So I took him for his six month shots and determined that I was not going to leave that doctor's office without some help.  Even though Luke does not have several key symptoms of reflux (Luke weighs 20 pounds!, most reflux babies are slow weight gain), the doctor agreed we needed to try something, and I learned that a proton pump inhibitor was going to be the beginning of a new chapter for us.

Three days after starting the meds Luke's daytime sleep has more than doubled (almost tripled, really)!!!  He is now in the middle of his second solid nap today, already past the two hour mark.  Now while I realize this is nothing too special for the average baby, let me assure you, this is a BIG DEAL for Luke.  Only three days of medicine!!!!  If I knew the scientist who invented the proton pump inhibitor I'd be hugging their neck!

I have never, in his life, been able to predict with any certainty what Luke might do tomorrow (sleep-wise).  There has been some freedom in this (why bother to stay home, Luke doesn't sleep anyways) but also a lot of downsides (an always awake, sleep-deprived, red-eyed baby).

Now, the nights still need a bit of work.  Ahem.  A lot of work.  But a friend of a friend told me that when her son started reflux medicine the day issues worked themselves out quickly, and the night issues followed.  So for now I'm hoping that our good nights are right around the corner. 

I wonder why it is that God gave me this crazy sleep-less-ness in the midst of everything else rocking our family's little boat right now.

"Lord Jesus, I have nowhere else to go; You have the words of eternal life.  I believe and now that You are the Holy One of God"  John 6: 68-69

Yep, felt like that.  So tired I had nowhere else to go.

"Oh Lord, be gracious to us; we have hoped in You.  Be our strength every morning, Our salvation in time of distress."  Isaiah 33:2

Yes, need strength in the morning.  Check.

"Let me hear your unfailing love in the morning"  Psalm 143

"May I rest in You and wait patiently for You"  Psalm 37

"O Christ, You must increase; I must decrease"  John 3:30

Now, before you go away thinking I handled (and am handling) this trial with grace and strength and trust, let me assure you that there have been dark moments.  I remember calling a friend one morning.  The kind of phone call that when the phone is ringing you brace yourself because you know as soon as you hear her sweet voice you're gonna burst into tears and you just hope she hangs on the line long enough to hear the gulps behind your sobs.  Yeah, that kind of phone call :)  "Where does God get glory from my misery?" I asked.  "I cannot function like this."  and on and on and on.

But there has been big lessons for me (and Matt) in all of this.  Maybe I'll share those later.  I hear my baby boy waking up :)

champs

My kids are champs.  I look at all the changes that have rocked our family in the past months and, well, they are CHAMPS. 

Don't get me wrong, we have some tough moments, some hard days, some difficult heart issues to work through.  [Hmmm, am I talking about them? or myself?  Because I sure have tough moments, hard days, and plenty of heart issues to work through!]

But folks, this has been one intense season in our home.  New baby.  Newly adopted toddler.  It seems like all of our dynamics have changed.  Bedtime looks different, our kitchen table looks different.  Everyone switched to a new seat in the van.  The big kids share toys with a baby who slobbers (on everything!) and a toddler who can't express himself in spoken words.  They have a Mommy who hasn't slept decently in months and a Daddy who juggles way too many roles way too well! 

And they keep on keepin' on.  And thriving, really. 

On days when I think they should resent John Paul they love him.  Again and again and again.  On days when I think they'd hate to see their desires interrupted by Luke's needs (again!), they bicker over who gets to sit closest to his high chair. 

Watching them encourages me.  And makes me so very thankful to the God who enables any of us to wake and live and breathe another day.  He gives our every breath.  And smile. 

Here's thriving: Isaac selling popcorn at a 'ballet show' put on by the girls.  When you are the outnumbered little bro and refuse to wear pink you make do with your circumstances and sell popcorn. 

I'm not sure Isaac yet realizes how we are just mere months, maybe a year, away from the family dynamic switching to a solid boy tilt and he'll have lots of play options that don't involve frills!  But I'm grateful for this season for him too... how he is learning to find ways to play boy in the midst of their girl.  Right this moment John Paul and Isaac are playing in the courtyard (Luke sleeping) and my computer is set where I can watch them out the glass doors.  More and more these two boys are playing together and it does my heart so good!

And now Isaac is calling "Mommy, when are you gonna come out? I want you to come out right now." 

So that's where I'm headed.  Now. 

smooth?

We are home.  Our little getaway was smooth - in the "we took five children on a two night trip to a 1-star Chinese hotel smooth" kind of way.  I'm definitely redefining my requirements for a smooth trip :) 

We enjoyed our time there.  And we are glad to be home. 

Unfortunately the internet is not cooperating, so I'll have to come back tomorrow with some pictures and a longer update.  Plus, I've got a pillow in my bedroom hollering for me to get in there and get some rest! 

camping success

I wasn't expecting to feel so left out when Matt, Julianna, Lydia and Isaac drove away Friday morning.  Maybe it's because I'd rather be camping than hanging out at home with a toddler and baby (no offense to my little guys, I love them dearly dearly but it's been a long time since I've been camping and I'd much rather have slept in a tent than in a bed with fit-full Luke).

And I wasn't the only one wishing I was camping.  Big crocodile tears rolled down John Paul's face and he pointed towards the car when some of his favorite people drive away from our apartment.  He knew something big was up, he had watched the tent and bags and gear pile by the door, and when it became clear he wasn't going it was one sad little boy in my arms.

But the two of us (along with Luke) pulled ourselves together and managed to have a good chunk of fun while the other half of the family hiked and explored and drank hot chocolate by a campfire.    

They crew rolled back in about noon today, complete with tales of their exploits and pictures to prove it all.

They set up their tent at a (currently unused) youth camp area.

And played cards.

and hiked.

stumbled across part of a challenge course (belonging to the youth camp).

hiked a bit more.

And built a camp fire.

With a silly faces photo, of course.

Maybe next time it'll be all seven of us?!? 

Tomorrow I help host a baby shower for a dear local friend and then our family leaves on a two night trip.  We'll be back Tuesday afternoon. 

the boys and the girls

Not so much blogging this week, it's just been super busy (and not only because I'm trying to pick up the slack from a missing house helper - I just finished up the last batch of dishes today, and its almost ten pm.  ugh.) 

Matt and the big kids cancelled camping trip attempt #1 because of too much rain.  Tomorrow is attempt #2 and oh I sure hope it's dry enough for them to go.  It's raining now, and a little mud won't keep them away, but no one wants to camp in drizzle so I'm hoping the rain stops during the night. 

This morning I spotted this scene and scooted to get the camera. 

All three boys playing in the same room.  Not necessarily "playing together", but they were occupying the same space, happily!  Isaac and John Paul are really starting to become buds and while I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for the noise level or the chaos, I'm delighted to see them developing a friendship. 

And Luke is such a social bug, he's just glad to be in the thick of things.  Luke does seem to really like Isaac, even though Isaac is "not even one bit too gentle".  With some of the tough/rough love that Isaac deals out you'd think Luke would burst into tears at the first sight of his biggest brother.  But Luke is much more likely to laugh than cry at Isaac's antics. 

When I group the kids I most often think of them as "the big kids" and "the littles".  Julianna, Lydia, Isaac.  Big.  John Paul and Luke.  Little.

But earlier this morning it was "the boys" and "the girls".  I think as they get older I'll probably see them like this more often.  While their brothers were playing with cars the girls were busy with paper and markers and scissors and glue. 

But despite these pics and this scene, most often its still the bigs and the littles.  Lydia and Isaac spent the bulk of the morning building a huge "car show".  John Paul and Luke stick closer by Mom.  [And Julianna went on a little outing with some of our neighbors and was gone through lunch.] 

I'm eager to see how these relationships and dynamics grow, develop, change over the next months and years.  I'm also really enjoying exactly where we are right now. 

{although I'd enjoy it a lot more if Luke would let us get some decent rest... I'm now suspecting he might have reflux?  Anyone with experience with that?  At six months old, he is up multiple times a night, naps terribly, fussy during feedings, etc.  While he has better days and some nicer stretches he is still a pretty tricky baby.  The good news is when is awake (and not eating) he is a sweet, happy, smiley little guy.}

house helper appreciation week

subtitle: absence makes the heart grow fonder

I have 20 hours a week of house help.  And it is every bit as great as it sounds. 

I won't try to explain why (or how) life here can be so frustratingly time-consuming and energy-draining.  Those of you who live in China already know.  And for those of you who don't live in China, I don't think I could ever put it into words. 

So my helper, she's what keeps my head above water.  Her biggest responsibilities are dish washing (I guess she spends 5 to 7 hours a week washing and putting away dishes!), market trips (buying veggies and fruit and the farmers market-ish place down the street), food prep (washing and cutting all those veggies), house cleaning (sweeping, mopping, dusting) and clothes washing (we tag-team, both of us keeping the laundry moving through its paces: wash, dry, fold, put away, wash, dry, fold, put away, wash, dry, fold, put away - ha!)

With the big national holiday, our helper is one of millions of people who is not working this week.  And I'm happy to give her the time off.  Really, I am. 

But man oh man, talk about a good job-security move.  We're only one day into the week and I'm already singing her praises.  There's nothing like a house helper on vacation to help you realize how much you love your helper!


So we're all pitching in extra around here.  Matt's helping by taking the big three camping - less meal prep and clean up, but more laundry - hmmmm.  The girls are pro dish washers, and the floors.... well, we can mop next week, right?

 

 

Did I mention that she adores Luke?  When the work is done and it's time for her to head home I often find her right here, sitting on the floor with Luke in her lap. 

We're missing her this week.  And it's only Monday :)