There are many days that I love living overseas. I mean, MANY days. Life is definitely fun, interesting, challenging... all those good things. I like the people. I like (most parts) of the culture. I like the language.
BUT, it's not always a walk in the park. Recently, I've been having a bit of, ummm, well, let's just call it "cultural stress". What that means is, if one more person points at my girls and says, "look a foreign child", or walks up to the stroller to touch my kids, or hollers out, "how come you have two kids?" as I walk by, or says, "ooooh, they are both girls, no boys" then I just might SCREAM!!!!
I can understand their comments. I can rationalize why they say the things they say. But, man oh man they are about to DRIVE ME CRAZY!!! Sometimes I long for the long ago days when I had just arrived and did not understand what the people around me were talking about.
Now, I know that cultural stress tends to ebb and flow. It has been worse. It will get better. Usually it's worse when I've been in country for a long time with no break, but the funny thing is I was just in Thailand a few months ago (which is always a WONDERFUL retreat).
In my head I come up with smart retorts to their comments. I have yet to actually use one :) I want to be gracious. I want to be loving. I want to be understanding. I know I am being watched. BUT STILL.....
Julianna, with the social filters of a two year old, is not quite as gracious, loving and understanding. She's been a bit on edge recently too. Her technique? She looks the potential "threat" right in the eye and hollers, "NO!!" At times, she'll swing her arms to try to keep them from touching her.
It's even harder when I know they are bothering my girls. Lydia, of course, doesn't really care too much. Julianna understands more and more what folks are saying. She knows what it means to point. And to be pointed AT. One time a little girl looked at her and said, "look, a foreign kid". She responded, "I am a GIRL!"
I am a lot more patient and understanding with the little children. Most of them just want to be friends with Julianna. But the adults. Now that's a whole 'nother story.
It makes me want to hole up in the apartment and retreat from the world. But, the weather is gorgeous and the girls love to be outside. Besides, I can't spend my days in our apartment without going stir-crazy.
Matt is gone for the weekend. It feels a bit like it's just me and the two girls versus the whole world. Maybe the three of us will wear hats and dark sunglasses... think we'll be able to fool them??
3 comments:
I feel for you. As a shy person with 2 outgoing kids I kindof understand what you are going through. I have even been asked if Caroline is my child. I hope it gets better soon. Love you guys,
Julie
Even 30 years later, I remember well days when I was tired of working at a conversation rather than enjoying it, tired of little children pushing and begging for money, just worn out from the everyday effort, but I still loved it most days - like you. But I also didn't have children to protect both physically and psychologically from being stared at, talking about, etc. You're right, it will be better most days and I can see Julianna is not going to be intimidated! We miss you! Love, Mom/Grandmama
Hang in there mama! Oh how I can relate to being weary of many a thing and I can imagine these comments would be like a "constant drip" and irritation. Maybe you feel a little like David Psalm 39? This morning this Psalm captured how I was feeling with my words and being careful about what I say...when I keep silent in frustration I feel even MORE anguish. (vs.1-3) I was glad to know that I was in good company...and to remember the One who allowed these hard situations. Way to want to be gracious!!! What a testimony of the Lord's prescence in your life!
Thanks for your honesty and transparency...it is nice to know how I can be praying for you. I would totally try the disguise...it might help to lighten your load with this situation!:)
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