grateful tears

This school makes me want to cry .....  streams and streams of grateful tears.

It has exceeded my every expectation.

I had no idea how deeply this school would minister to our family.  So I count the blessings.

1. A small place, so easy for my new-and-learning-this-culture girls to navigate.
2. Teachers who love Jesus.
3. Classmates who faithfully prayed for the "new girls" weeks before Julianna and Lydia ever set foot in these halls.
4. An administration that wants to serve our family.
5. Familiar faces - students and families that I recognize from other areas of life here.
6. Friends! Oh so glad that my girls have friends here.
7. Simplicity.  The school experience is so much EASIER for this momma to navigate than our China school experience.
8. Teachers that communicate with grace and ease and loads of helpful information.
9. A reading teacher really investing in my Julianna.
10. Daily focused effort and desire to point my girls to Jesus.
11. Imperfection.  So glad that this school isn't perfect, it's a better fit for our not-perfect family!
12. Reasonable homework loads!
13. A van full of little boys who daily ask to "get out and go inside" at pick up.  And Jesus who gently nudges and says "Yes Laura.  Unbuckle the belts and unload them all and take them inside to meet their sisters and embrace that the process just became 1000 times more complicated.  Who are you here to serve anyways?"

See the Lydia (with pink gloves) and John Paul embrace?  Isaac (left) and Julianna (right) running down the hall.  You can barely see a smidge of Luke's green jacket above Lydia's shoulder.

Lydia's teacher and three boys in the reading loft.  Eleven first graders in Lydia's class, and this loft is a coveted classroom spot!

We only lasted a few minutes in the classrooms before we needed a little more room to roam free.  Gym/Chapel/Lunchroom here we come :)

We won't go in every day but I took much joy in watching these boys admire their sisters, and these girls proudly show off their troop of little brothers.

speech school

John Paul is in speech therapy three times a week (30 minute sessions).   In an attempt to cast it in a positive light we introduced it as "speech school".

On the first trip to speech school I could tell he was skeptical of this new "school".  Too many white lab coats and it looked suspiciously like a hospital (and it is in the rehab center attached to the hospital!).  And no need for a backpack? What kind of school is this?

But I'm happy to report that he is now thoroughly convinced that his speech school is the real deal.  John Paul took to it like a fish to water.  It sure helps that he's been dying to "go to school" for months now. 

Oh my are we grateful!  I think he loves all the individual attention.  He loves a room full of toys.  He loves his therapists.  

For the first time I can tell he is really taking a personal interest in his own speech.  His sentences are getting longer and more complex.  He voluntarily chooses lengthier ways of expressing himself (instead of truncating thoughts).  He is starting to be really funny!  (Of course it's more likely that he's always been funny, but without the skills to express himself we didn't know how funny he was!)  

I think some of these steps are natural ..... he has made so much progress in the 13 months since his surgery already, and I know these next steps were coming.  I also think that intentional, directed work on his speech is helping tremendously.

He still has a LOOOOOOOONNNNGGG way to go.  His articulation needs a lot of work.  His grammar is not yet at age-level.  There are days that I wish we were "there".  There are times that his garbled speech frustrates me (and him).  There are moments that I am sad he is limited in his ability to express himself.  

But mostly I am full of hope at where this road is taking us, and, at least for now, prepared for the journey to be long.  

oh the weather outside is

I'm sure you're all eager to know what happened to my computer.  Or maybe not. 

As it turned out Matt had a friend heading to Fargo who dropped it off for me, and two days later I got a phone call saying that everything that did not belong in the DVD drive had been removed and the drive had been replaced (still under warranty) and the computer is ready for pick up.  Woohoo.  And since my in-laws are driving down tomorrow they'll pick it up for me and in the end the whole thing was relatively painless. 

Except that I'm still sad about how angry I got.  It was a sweet experience to re-live yesterday though, as I could meet one of my daughters in her anger - with the same brother! - so I'm thankful for humbling experiences that remind me to meet my children as a co-journey-er, that God is working on both of our hearts, that neither of us consistently see the fruit of the Spirit, that both of us make poor choices. 

And my John Paul.  [Whom I sometimes call "the destroyer".]  Oh dear.  This child can take apart anything.  He is a passionate combination of smart and curious and eager and determined.  One day I hope I'll see all those traits channeled in the right direction.  In the meantime, I'm grateful that the Lord chose me to walk alongside this little boy.  And I'm more committed than ever to keeping a very watchful eye on him :) 

As far as how things are going here, well, I would like to say that it is

 cold.  

There's nothing quite like this cheery message from Accuweather

I wear my jacket and hat and gloves to take out the garbage :)  And we stay plenty warm inside. 

Julianna used her new velcro to make herself an apron.

And don't let the weather worry you too much.  These folks, they know how to make it work.  There are gobs of fun options to get out and work on using up some little people energy. 

The local gym center is quickly becoming a favorite.  My boys are getting more comfortable with each trip and this time they were so fun to watch. 

It's a blurry view :)

Bonus that I ran into not 1, not 2, but THREE people that I knew while I was there.  That's small town living for you!  I mean, I'm not even from here!  In my entire life I've probably spent less than 12 months here.  And I run into friends all the time :) 

[True confession: This used to kind of annoy me.  Actually, really annoy me.  That was back when I was "Matt's new wife" and I wasn't running into friends, I was running into people who knew me but I had no idea who they were!  This little town grows on me every time I'm here.  Today I was smiling big to have some fun, familiar adult conversation while my boys ran free.]

We ended the day with our newest Friday tradition - a trip to the local parks & rec fitness center with a fun pool, water features, super tall water slides and a lazy river.  Follow it up with pizza at Grandma and Grandpa's and it's a Friday night to enjoy. 

And then there are the milder days - even this afternoon was so nice and the snow flakes were huge, slow and beautiful to watch.  Julianna hopped in the van after school with stories of "the best recess ever" because these temps make snow play loads of fun. 

the wrong way to play memory

Sunday afternoon Matt and the girls headed down to Fargo - Luke had an early morning appointment with the ped gastroenterologist and the girls went along for the chance to play with their cousins (MLK day = no school on Monday). 

It was a last minute change - for Matt to go instead of me - and I was starting to look forward to a quiet evening.  Just me and two of my boys. 

A quick look at the weather forecast and I knew that Sunday would be our last opportunity to be outside for a few days so we geared up and tromped down to the park to watch some hockey.  The boys were fascinated, and impressed.  Pretty fun stuff for my little guys.

A quick easy supper and then I made my fatal mistake - suggested a movie.  I thought this might be a nice quiet way to end the evening.  Ha.  Isaac will sit and watch but John Paul?  Not so much.  So while I boiled water for a cup of tea John Paul took several pieces of a memory game and stuffed them in the DVD slot of my brand new computer.  Isaac complained that his movie wasn't working and the evening went way down hill. 

I was angry.  I've asked John Paul to not touch my computer about 1000 times.  He knows that it is off limits.  I handled it very poorly.  Very very poorly.

So once the boys were in bed (and it'll be months before I suggest a movie again!) I called Apple and now my computer is off at the nearest service center - for at least a few days.  Thankfully I think the warranty will cover most of the cost.  But it's irritating to be without a computer, and email, and my pictures, and my music, and .....  Thankfully my phone can stand in for some of that stuff. 

I woke up Monday morning still pretty bitter (did I mention the nearest apple service center is 75 miles away?).  Through the whole thing I've been reminded of the many ways my love for my children falls far short of the love God has for us, his children. 

The boys spent the morning organizing our new book stash....

Isaac proudly called for me to come and see how he had fixed up the bookshelf.  Good perspective for me, that this is his definition "fixed up".  There is a definite system behind the piles, it just falls a bit short of my vision of a children's library.  Oh well, the library is FOR the children after all, might as well err on the side of less presentable in adult eyes. 

And then they wanted to wrestle.  Again.  One early morning wrestling match had already ended with an injury or two, so I suggested they do some strength building exercises and get ready for the afternoon match with Matt.

100% hilarious.  Isaac takes the wrestling very very very seriously.  Matt often comments that for a little guy he packs a serious punch.  The little two have more body weight to rely on but Isaac is sheer guts and muscle and heart. 

So Matt rolled back in by mid afternoon and it was a much needed date night and now its a Tuesday morning that feels like a Monday.  That means laundry for me :) 

I might not be around much this week since I only have sporadic computer access.  But we'll see. 

my seamstress

She seems older than ever.  Who knew 8 could come so quickly?

Julianna already knows more than I do about operating a sewing machine.  More than she understands the stitching, I'm most impressed that she can really 'see' her end product, even when it's just in the conception stages.  She sees how the seams will flip when she's done stitching, how it's all going to work together.

At this point she's perfectly content with rough unfinished edges and a bit of jagged scissor cutting.  She is busy creating.  A little handbag (complete with interior pocket).  A sleeping bag for Isaac's tiger.  I love that her goal isn't perfection.  She's having fun, creating - often for others.

Grandma packed up piles of leftover fabric from her many projects and gifted the whole box to Julianna.  It's perfect!  She has piles of fabric to choose from and the scraps are plenty large enough for her smaller projects.  

She also knows her limitations :)  I asked her to stitch up the busted seam of my snow boot liners.  She had me slip my foot in, she pulled and poked the fabric.  She studied her options.  She thought about using a scrap of fabric to use as a patch.  And then she said, "I don't think I'm ready for this yet."  

Our home has an upstairs loft.  We used a table to divide it in half - the front half belongs to the kids crafting stuff, the back half is Matt's office.  Julianna's sewing machine is a constant fixture on the craft table.  And I'll often hear the tell-tale stitching sound coming down the stairs :)  So fun to see her enjoy this hobby of hers. 

I wonder how God will use this little girl of mine.  It's so clear to me that He put certain gifts, and certain struggles, in her life.  Some things come easy, some things don't.  

Isn't that true for all of us?  

saturday sledding (and our kitchen)

Saturday dawned bright and clear and warm(ish) - the perfect day for sledding.  This part of the country isn't known for it's hills :)  but there are several options in town.

We started off on a smaller slope and quickly advanced up to the big one.  It's fast and fun and perfect for our older three to rocket down on their own.  The little two (and cousin Jonah) mostly needed riders in the sled with them.

It was our last full fun day with Paul and Krisanne and Jonah and Caleb.  So sad to say goodbye to them, but also a sweet surprise blessing that we got to see them.  [For the last months it's looked like we wouldn't see them at all but repeated visa delays from Indonesia kept them stateside longer than intended and we DID get to see them!]

Smiles from everyone.  My kids are acclimating quickly to the options for winter fun :)  Julianna even complained that she was hot.

This morning back on the home front we saw light flurries all morning.  I sent the boys out to "shovel" for me - no time like the present to start training my littlest snow removal experts.  There was hardly enough to need to shovel, but it's always fun to feel useful :)

Julianna and Lydia didn't even come indoors after school but stayed outside to play.  This snow fort expanded significantly before dinnertime and is now big enough for both girls!

I was inside peeling carrots and sent the scraps out for our neighbor-bunny.  [See him again there, and big brother Isaac making sure Luke knows where to look.]

And my favorite part of my day?  Getting our Christmas pictures hung in the kitchen.  Last night Matt and I tackled piles of mail.  So So So Fun!  And this morning I got our kitchen looking like, well, OUR kitchen.  It no longer feels like we are living in a strange home.  This is HOME.

It's like a testimony-wall, each of the cards telling a story of God's faithfulness.  I see babies I prayed would come.  Friends clinging to joy in the midst of pain.  Story after story of God keeping His promises to His people.

winter white

Our new world, outdoors.  It's a white one :)

This is the view from our front door looking towards the park.  You can see the warming house right in the middle of the picture, the playground area is off to the left and there is also a skating pond and outdoor hockey rink.  It's a large park that backs up to a middle school and all their fields (football, baseball, etc).

Matt leading the crew :)  A tromp in the snow is so satisfying.

Sliding around on the skating pond.  John Paul lost his footing more than once :)  Well, everybody did, but John Paul just couldn't seem to stay on his feet!

Luke does way better outdoors than I thought he might.  He can hardly move in his winter gear, but he gets out there and seems to enjoy himself.  He's the only one in a full body snow suit and I must say it's my favorite option - for one, it's incredible easy to get him all snuggled in.  And he looks like he's getting ready to go snowmobiling, a thought that always brings a smile to my face!  

So far the biggest snow lovers are Isaac and Julianna.  They both just love to get outside and play.  

I bundled the three boys this morning and sent them out to the backyard.  [yea for a picture window where I can watch everything without getting all the gear on myself!]  Isaac stayed out for the longest time and then when he did finally come in he promised me he wasn't one bit cold!  

I'm thankful everyone seems to be enjoying our new outdoor world.  I like it too - so very different from my winters as a child where snow was an oddity that we saw once or twice a winter (and sometimes never).  

The girls are finishing their first week of school.  I can tell it's been long, especially for Lydia.  But they are doing so so well.  We're celebrating with a family trip to the swimming pool!  Even if the world is swirling whirling white you can still enjoy a swim - indoors!!  

finding our way

This evening marks one week since our arrival and four solid days in our 'new' home.

I think it's safe to say we're finding our way.  But with plenty of detours along the route!

This morning I forgot to take note of the warming temps and didn't send snow pants with the girls to school.  They do recess outside if temps AND wind chill are both above zero.  Today they have a solid shot at getting outdoors!  But outdoor play would be more fun with snow pants.  Oh well, at least they are in boots.

Speaking of school, I can't imagine a softer spot for our little girls to land here in the States.  This school is just amazing.  Small classes, small school, lots of familiar faces.

I miss having them at home.  I miss schooling them at home.  But I'm also thankful for the space, thankful to hand the 'school' baton off to folks that I know and trust, grateful for a place for my girls to develop friendships on this side of the ocean.  I know this is totally the best thing for our family right now.  And it feels great.

Julianna wakes every morning desperate to get to school.  My social bug is happy as can be and surrounded by friends.  Even Lydia (who always prefers Momma's company to any other option) is content and smiling when she walks out the door each morning.  Both of them ran around last night at church like kids who've been here for years, not days.  Thankful.

And church.... oh yesterday we went to our first Wednesday night church.  I. Love. Wednesday. Night. Church.  I love not cooking.  I love not cleaning up.  I love eating with people I enjoy.  I love watching my children run around the room with a bunch of little friends.  I love their smiles when they head off to AWANA.  So thankful for Wednesdays!

The boys and I are finding our way here at home. The big picture window is the perfect spot for viewing the resident rabbit - a bold little furry one who visits the backyard multiple times a day.  (See his brown body next to the bush out there?)  Yesterday we went to open gym at the local gymnastics center (open gym = little boys can come in and run around burning off gobs of energy on all the fun equipment).  It was a great option for us on a week with frigid temps that make getting outdoors for play a near impossibility.

This morning we skipped the gym and hit the grocery store instead (yes, my second grocery run in three days! ha!  still getting my feet under me!  and we decided the girls would pack a lunch so I needed supplemental provisions!)

This fun cart will probably loose its appeal as the weeks and grocery trips add up, but at least for today it was plenty of entertainment.  And I was grateful for happy co-shoppers as I made my way through the store!

This afternoon if the sun keeps shining we're headed out for some good winter fun.  Our house is half a block from a city park.  As soon as the girls get home we'll gear up and tromp out to play.

All in the name of settling in, you know?  Time to get outside and do a little exploring!

since Thursday

There isn't really any way to try to capture the last four days.

But they are the kind of days you ALWAYS want to remember, so I'm here to try :)

Friday morning we woke to a beautiful day and (relatively) warm temps.  Matt and I took the girls to see their school (in a nutshell: unbelievably wonderful... more on that later).  Grandpa and Paul and Krisanne braved the challenge of gearing up all the little boys (ages 4, 3, 3, almost 2) to head outside for some snowy fun.  I've been quickly reminded that getting little ones into all their winter gear can be a full time job.  Hat and gloves and boots and snow pants and jackets and .....

When we pulled in the driveway the girls scrambled to get into their gear and head out to join the fun.

Grandpa and Grandma have a perfect sledding hill for littles.  Great fun.  And it's a good thing we took advantage of the nice temps because in recent days the locals have been trying to scare me away with crazy cold.  Today's high was -21.  With wind-chills at -50.  It's every bit as cold as it sounds.  But they won't get rid of me this easy :)  I know the people here are worth it - plus I'm a sucker for gazing at a blue sky, even if my eyelashes are frozen!

By late afternoon the cousin party was complete.  All 10 under one roof.  My girls and Kaelynn were buddies within milliseconds.  You'd never know they spent three solid years apart -

And Isaac totally thinks of himself as "one of the big boys".  Connor and Carson are just incredibly kind and gracious and generous with these little cousins, everything you'd ever want in a older cousin.

A full kids table for dinner (just missing baby Caleb).

We celebrated double birthdays - Julianna and John Paul.

[This one deserves a whole separate post... oh the last 365 days have brought us so far!  His second birthday was so hard, ten days post palate-repair, all of us in survival mode.  This birthday just JOY.  John Paul, I love that your birthday is New Year's Day.  I love that our God is making all things NEW.  I love the story He is writing with your life!]

Julianna and her new sewing machine.  Julianna loves to sew - and she certainly didn't get it from me.  I don't sew anything.  But for several years Julianna has shown a steady interest in sewing - she often gets out scrap fabric and needle/thread and creates something.  Grandma thought she was ready for a beginner machine.  And she is!  She already sewed a little quilt for a baby doll.  I'll be back with a picture so you can see how talented she really is (*grin*).

John Paul loved opening gifts - and we continued the celebrations with Christmas presents so he had plenty of opportunity to showcase his unwrapping skills!

I loved loved loved it.  The noise and activity level and food and family.  At night my four older children and Kaelynn filled a bedroom - plenty of sweet memories for me as I peeked in at their sleeping bodies before I headed to bed myself -  I adored my cousins and loved nights sleeping in a room filled wall to wall with cousin-friends.

And all the snuggles and love from Grandparents and Aunties and Uncles, just great great times.

We moved in to our 'own' house here in town on Sunday afternoon.  Someone who flew off to Arizona to escape the winter cold is loaning us their home for these months.  It is perfect for our family - just perfect.  So very grateful for this place to call home.  And the sunshine streaming in the dining room window....

even if it is negative 20 something outside!

The girls first day of school moved to tomorrow (Tuesday) since school cancelled today because of the super cold temps.  But John Paul and I braved the cold for his speech therapy intake eval.  The results are exactly what we expected.... he tested well above age-level for receptive language (his ability to understand what he hears) but shows significant delays in expressive grammar and articulation.  Again we heard that he shows no typical cleft-related delays (hyper nasality, etc).

We're just waiting for the final insurance clearance and we're set to go with 3x a week sessions for this little guy.  I'm excited for what the Lord has for him here - the clinic is just a few long blocks from our house (though goodness knows we won't be walking in this weather!).  I loved the SLP who did his intake eval but it's not a sure thing that she'll be assigned to him, still waiting to hear - and hopefully I'll know all this by tomorrow.

And the girls first day of school ... and I bought groceries and ran three loads of laundry.... and I planned meals and we have church/AWANA on Wednesday .... and cousins across town and more just an hour down the interstate ... and this is proving to (once again) be a sweet spot for our family while we plant ourselves (temporarily) in the States for the spring.

the trip in pictures

1 minivan.  2 adults.  5 children.  30 hours of driving (including stops).  1 snowstorm.  2 hotel nights.  

Almost 1600 miles.  

And we made it.  

Now we're here for the weekend, a big family weekend.  Matt and both his siblings and their families all together at Grandma and Grandpa's house.  8 adults and 10 children and lots and lots of fun.

The trip had its share of highs and lows.  There were moments that went well and moments that went not so well.  Day one, 460 miles.  Day two, 470 miles.  Day three, 640 miles.

The biggest disappointment was Day two, supposed to be our long hard cover-some-serious ground day.  A snowstorm in Chicago slowed us way down and made for many stressful hours and we ended up stopping several hundred miles before our goal.

loaded and ready to head out

It'll be a while before we see temps this high again

western NC, my 'people' are from around here .... Pilot Mountain.  BEAUTIFUL.  

the inside of the van - yes, we still have the giant panda.  He actually proved to be a decent traveling companion, part pillow - part fun.

end of day one, the miles are adding up and the temperature is dropping

Kentucky horse country.  After too many years in highly polluted Asian cities 

America's bright blue skies never get old.  

Lots of time in the car - stickers, crayons, books, movies, iPad, audio books, snacks.... 

our fearless captain, every single mile.  It's no easy job, but neither is the passenger seat, huh?

a late afternoon snooze, see Julianna sprawled across Ping Ping?  and it's starting to snow

a birthday dinner at Cracker Barrel, it's not ideal but neither is a birthday in the car!

loading up after dinner, our first indication that the conditions were

going to be worse than we anticipated

when the interstate looks like this you know the miles ahead 

will add up slowly, oh it was slippery and not at all fun

day three lunch at a truck stop - after our early stop the night before we knew we had 

many many miles to go before we slept (thankfully we woke to favorable conditions

and the roads were dry within the first hour)

Entropy ruled in the van.  I refer to this one as 'pick your vice day'.

Whatever it takes to keep the campers happy.  Luke ate an entire box of tic tacs.

sunset in western Minnesota.  we could taste the victory - only a few more hours!

our final stop, the van starting to show a little road weariness.  (so are the occupants!)

We celebrated with glow sticks in the dark - new fun for the final hundred-plus miles

North Dakota highways are straight and empty, which makes for nice high speed limits

and check out the temperature (that's not a dash, that's a negative 13 degrees)

In the worst moments Matt and I consoled ourselves that this will probably be our hardest road trip ever.  The children will only get older and (hopefully) easier ~  In the best moments we laughed and loved and, you know, there were many many things to be grateful for, even when it was hard.  

The girls visited their new school Friday morning, the kids are working on recovering the many many hours of lost sleep, we are snug and warm in a house filled with love and family.  So glad to be here.  So so very glad.