the cleft team ROCKS!

Ok, so in a nutshell our day at UNC could not have gone any better!  I loved it!  So did John Paul, once he forgave me for waking him up and putting him in the car seat at 7am.  Oh he was so mad at me and kept asking to go back to bed!  But we were on the interstate within minutes of pulling out of the driveway... I pointed out one 18-wheeler and he dried his tears long enough to focus on the big truck (much bigger than anything we see in Asia).  A second one passed and by the time the third truck came into view John Paul decided it was time to stop crying and added "18 wheeler" to his vocabulary.

We met physicians in 8 different specialties and (no surprise) John Paul charmed the socks off each and every one.  The message we heard over and over was this: He is doing great.  Great.  Great.  Great.  Yes, he needs speech help (we knew that) but - good news - none of his speech issues are related to how his palate functions now.  His missing palate dramatically affected the way that his speech developed pre-surgery, but the palate the surgeons created last Christmas is functioning perfectly.  He needs time and speech therapy (to help him learn now what he should have learned innately as an infant/young toddler). 

We are anticipating a (very minor, outpatient, easy peasy) surgery in the next few weeks to put in ear tubes.  Other than that, we aren't looking at another surgery until between the ages of 7 and 9.  Music to this mama's ears as our last surgery experience was no picnic and I'm not looking forward to a repeat experience. 

The pic is John Paul at his last stop - pediatric dentistry - with a group of doctors who specialize in cleft patients.  This was the most intimidating group of doctors by far, and John Paul was a champ right til the very end.

The way the 'cleft team' works is that all the professionals on the team - oral surgeons, palate surgeons, dentists, nurse practitioner, speech language pathologist, ENT, psychologist - all these people see John Paul on one day.  These folks work together as a team, and after we left UNC they all met and decided on the best possible care plan for him, all working together, all consulting with their expertise in different disciplines.

We'll get the final team report in the next few days.  And we'll be with this 'team' for all his care.  His next surgery, any follow up issues, anything.... it all happens through this team of people.  I couldn't be more pleased or more thankful for how the day went.

Thankful.  Thankful for this little boy.  

his Daddy's shirt (and cleft team visit tomorrow)

Pulled out this so-sweet hand me down shirt for my youngest today.  As I pushed his arm through one sleeve he took his other hand, patted the flannel and said "Baba" (his name for Matt/Daddy).  Yes son, your shirt looks just like one your Daddy might wear.  And you look just a bit like Daddy yourself :)

I already know what Luke will be wearing when Matt arrives in NC.  "Welcome Daddy, I'm so proud to look just like you!"

As a family I think we are *almost* done singing the jet lag blues.  Unfortunately, Luke is hanging on to the tune a bit longer than the rest of us, but progress is progress and I'm encouraged (as opposed to Saturday night when I was, ummm, very very not encouraged).

I am seeing some stress behavior from different kids at different times.  Each of us handles and processes transition differently - and I just see little things (and a few not so little things) that show me we are most definitely still in transition.  You don't move halfway around the world and walk without a bit of a wiggle in your step - a least for a while. 

Precious John Paul (who has spent too much time on the bad side of too much transition and stress in his short years) is doing okay, but not great.  Tomorrow is a big day for him - we see the Cleft Team at UNC.  I'm really excited to meet with this team of health care professionals, I'm excited to show off my amazing boy, to hear their input and advice, to get him evaluated for some speech therapy (wahoo!) and to hopefully get answers to some questions (and probably realize there are many good questions that I should be asking!)

It'll be a big day though, and I'm not entirely sure how it's going to go.  My Dad (one of John Paul's favorite people in the whole world) is going with us, my Mom will stay here with the other four.  We leave at 7am and expect to be gone most of the day.  7am sounds very very early!  (don't laugh!  I've gradually moved our kids' wake up time to 8:30 and I haven't been out of bed before 8 .... keep in mind that 8 isn't that early - just a few days ago several of the kids weren't hitting good solid sleep before 2 or 3am!)

So with that in mind I'm headed to bed, gotta get ready for my wake up call! 

Thursday, Friday, Saturday

The days keep ticking by.  So fun to be here with my Mom and Dad! 

Jet lag issues are improving.  Luke making slow progress, everyone else doing admirably.  Julianna and John Paul have slept through the night two nights in a row!  (still a weird night.... bedtime by 9/10 and up by 10ish but I can work with that!)  If Luke can turn a corner here soon we'll be golden.  And my mind will be less foggy, right? 

On Thursday morning I again resorted to bribery to get the big kids out of bed in the morning (and by morning I mean 10am!) - this time it was "get out of bed, get your own library card".  And after breakfast we headed over to make good on my promise. 

Such fun to chose our books and I learned a few lessons (#1 - bring a stroller to contain Luke!) and it'll take a few more trips before we learn our way around, but we found a nice big pile to bring home with us and we'll go again next week! 

We're also busy exploring all the neighborhood parks.  Coming from a place where nice playgrounds are a rarity (and rarely outdoors - or free!) these are just such delight!  And the weather so pleasant these last two days although the forecast says we won't be running around outside in light weight jackets starting tomorrow.  But still.... 

This is the first time that Isaac really 'pumped' on the swing all by himself, no reminders, no coaching, swinging on his own for a long long long time.  We don't get much time on swings and the big kids are itching to go back to this park. 

My parents are seeing John Paul's inquisitive, curious, always in to something personality hard at work in their own house.  Tonight he pushed a magnet through the air conditioning vent - luckily it was a wall vent (not a floor vent) and the magnet was perched on a ledge and hadn't yet fallen down the shaft.  After a few unsuccessful tries with a kitchen knife Mom brought the screwdriver so I could remove the vent cover and rescue the magnet. 

Apparently Luke watched carefully - as soon as he persuaded my Mom to hand him the screwdriver he went right to work.

If only we can leave that vent alone for a while....

And if only Luke (and I) can get some sleep.....

jet lag to the 5th power

Wondering what all this looks like?  Here goes...

Right now the girls are in one bedroom, the bigger boys in another (with an empty crib for Luke when things settle down) and Luke in a pack n play in a separate bedroom.  Trying to spread everyone out as much as possible for maximum sleep.   

First night everyone is asleep by 2am.  Luke is up from 3 to 5 and then sleeps again on the couch from 5am to 1pm.  Everyone else sleeps solid from 2am to 1pm Tuesday afternoon.  [Except John Paul who wakes up crying and moves in to my bed midway through the long winter's nap.] 

11 hours is not shabby and they would have slept longer too - but it's pure exhaustion kicking in, and the 11 hours come at the wrong time of day.  [Unfortunately, I only sleep for bits and pieces of the time they are asleep.]


Night #2 is our first step in the battle.  Here's how it went down. [all times my best guess, some details filled in with help from Mom and Dad]

8:30pm bedtime for Luke.  He's only been awake 7 hours but he's rubbing his eyes and what else do you do?

9pm  John Paul in bed.

9:30 Isaac to bed - John Paul already snoozing hard and Isaac is asleep within minutes

10pm Girls in bed, Julianna tells me that she is tired.  I am hopeful :) 

10:30 Luke crying.  I settle him down quickly and he's asleep again.

11:45 John Paul fussing.  I move him to my bed and he's back to sleep quickly.  I decide it's time to go to bed myself and turn off the light by midnight.

12:20 Luke crying again.  I rock him back to sleep.

1:15 Luke again. I knock on my parents door and beg for help.  Dad takes Luke downstairs.

1:30 Lydia arrives in the living room, Luke is delighted to see her and the two of them are wide awake with Dad (who is less wide awake, obviously!).

2:15 Isaac shows up at my bed, says he "can't sleep"... I tuck him in on the other side of me and try to sleep surrounded by little boy.  No dice.  John Paul wakes with the commotion and is thrilled to see Isaac.  Neither of them fall back asleep. 

2:30 I take the boys downstairs where we find Dad and Lydia and Luke.  Dad heads to bed and I pull out snacks. 

2:45 Julianna appears bleary-eyed and asks for the time. I tell her it's almost 3am and she heads back to bed.  I start reading books on the couch.

3:00 Julianna again, she "can't fall back asleep".  She joins the couch party.  I'm struggling.  Remember I'm coming off a long trip where my total sleep was about 3 hours, my longest continuous stretch was probably 45 minutes.  At 3am I'm not putting my best foot forward.  I'm plowing through chapter 2 of Beverly Cleary's The Mouse and the Motorcycle when I decide it's "bedtime, part two, sleepy or NOT"

3:30 Luke in bed, but he's unsettled and I'm in and out to rock him a few times .....

3:45 John Paul and Isaac in bed but wide awake. 

4 Lydia in bed (she's been up almost 3 hours) and Julianna reading books with a small light.  I tell Lydia she can "try very hard" to fall asleep and read with Julianna if she is not successful.

4:15 check on boys, still wide awake but mostly quiet. 

4:30 final visit to Luke's room, hopeful he is down for the count, Isaac and JP still awake.  Isaac asks "how many more minutes til it's time to get up" and I answer "SIX hours".  Momma is officially done. 

4:35 I'm headed for bed.... as far as I know only Luke is asleep :)

5:00 Isaac at my side whispering, "Has it been six hours yet?"  He tells me that John Paul is asleep so I send Isaac to my mom (she's an early riser anyways) and sleep rock solid til 9:30. 

I wake feeling good (4 and a half uninterrupted hours is my longest sleep stretch since Sunday night, China time) and decide it's time to wake the troops and introduce them to the idea of sleeping AT NIGHT and playing DURING THE DAY, Eastern Standard Time night and day, that is! 

At 9:30 I find John Paul and Luke still sleeping.... Mom reports that Isaac Lydia and Julianna fell asleep at 6am (Isaac on the floor between their beds) and she talks me in to letting everyone sleep a bit longer. 

At 11 I start the wake up process. The big three are not impressed with my efforts; I finally resort to bribing - each of them gets a dollar to spend on the dollar aisle at Target if they are out of the bed within two minutes.  The bribe works and they trudge to the kitchen for breakfast where they are joined by John Paul (crying, begging to "go night night") and Luke (bleary-eyed and unwilling to leave my arms).

So, we've got a few more days til the worst is behind us :)

In the meantime, we are having a blast!  Seriously.  Sleep is a work in progress but we are good at having fun no matter what!

Some pics from the last three days....

Victory at the D.C. airport.... our travel crew :)  Thankful to add these two wonderful girls - Addie and Lindsey - to our list of friends.  

At the airport... John Paul so excited to be with his Granddaddy.  Funny that every time we talked about meeting at the airport I would say "Granddaddy will be there" and John Paul always insisted Grandmama would be there too.  Turns out, he knew best.  She WAS there :) 

[And we somehow missed a big group picture, ugh!]

Last flight - a short one but this is typically where we see a lot of tears.  Not another airplane :(  Julianna and Lydia were both struggling to maintain composure as we boarded.  No worries, they were asleep within minutes..... I had to shake Lydia awake at the gate and she could barely make it off the plane she was still so wobbly :) 

Sound asleep at midday on the living room couch.  Hello jet lag :) 

Raking leaves on the first day... good for the body, good for the soul.

Working Hard (Lydia) and Hardly Working (Luke)

Oh these boys were LOVING it! 

Today we hit Target for a few supplies and the chance to spend their hard-earned Target dollar on the dollar aisle. 

Tomorrow we're headed for the library.  I'm not sure who is the most excited .... all my kids have heard enough raving about libraries to be ready for this trip :) 

made it

Every time we drive through a tunnel Isaac is silent ... he's "holding his breath".  But he doesn't totally understand the concept..... I'm fairly confident he thinks that holding your breath in a tunnel means only breathing through the nose.  Because EVERY SINGLE TIME we reach the far end of the tunnel (no matter how impossibly long) he proudly declares "made it"! 

And that's how I feel. 

Made it. 

And proud of it too :) 

In short, the trip went really really smooth, I mean..... considering I flew with five little people aged 7 and under.  The two girls who traveled with me were amazing.  I cannot tell you how many times they asked, "what can I do to help?"  I mean, AMAZING.  So very grateful to them, and the Lord who provided them in answer to our prayers.

Actually, I'd go to Antartica with the big three.  They were a (relative) piece of cake.  The little two were the handful :)  But we made it.

Dad (and SURPRISE!) MOM were both in D.C. to meet us.  It was a wonderful reunion and they chased kids while I rested in the airport waiting for our final flight.  We got to their house about midnight and had the kids calmed down and in bed by 2am.  The big four slept 11 hours!!!  Not the best start to jet lag combat - letting them sleep til 1pm - but I figured everyone handles stress and transition better when rested.  We can start fighting jet lag now :)

Dad has pictures and our first day was great fun but I must go to bed.  John Paul is snoozing next to me as I type (was sleeping in his own bed but woke up disoriented and scared, so brought him in with me) and Luke has already been awake once too.  It could be a long night....  

ready for take off

We leave for the airport tomorrow morning....three flights and about 30 hours and - if all goes as planned - we'll be landing in NC.

Late this afternoon we met the girls (Addie and Lindsey) who travel with us... they are such blessing, such lavish provision.  I'm filled with gratitude to have them on 'our team' as we fly.  

While I love to dream of travel with no missed flights, no lost luggage, no puke, no screaming fits of exhaustion, no (fill in the blank).... well, maybe that's what God has for me.  But maybe it isn't.  So I pray that I will travel as someone who stands rock solid on the belief that God is good, God is sovereign, God is wise.  No matter what the next days hold.

Pray with us.  A content-hearted Luke.  A peace-filled John Paul (little guy has had a few tough transitions and I'm worried this could really rattle him).  We are all thankful for your prayers. 

Ping Ping the panda

Look what Julianna's classmates gave her as a last-day-of-school present :)

We named him after the school, and refer to him by his nick name, Ping Ping. 

And we packed him. 

It's hard to receive a stuffed panda the size of your little brother and not bring him to America. 

I guess that's one perk of traveling with a small herd of children - luggage allowance!  [On the way to the U.S. we never fill to capacity, next summer when we head back we'll probably be counting every pound.]   Though I will say that Ping Ping takes up more than his fair share of one duffel!  At least he doesn't weigh much! 

John Paul's unhappy trip down the slide

Yesterday morning the girls were out of school and I decided we should celebrate with a trip to the indoor play place at a local mall. 

There were only six children in the entire place (5 were mine, of course) and we had a blast.  Sometimes at these kinds of places they each run five different directions, and they did that for a while.... and then these three started playing on the slide -

It must have looked like fun because Lydia joined in almost immediately.

And sure enough, a few minutes later our littlest buddy showed up at the top.  It's no short hike/climb for Luke to make it up there, but he was determined!

 

Holding hands and going down the slide is definitely a blast for these kiddos, but check out these next few pictures and keep your eyes on John Paul as he gives a demo called "why holding hands on the slide is not always as fun as you wish it was". 

poor little guy.

Matt and I scroll through these three pictures and laugh out loud.  Not at the tears (little buddy was a bit rattled by his face-plant) but, well, they are just funny.  Julianna is definitely a favorite of his, and I'm not sure if she was pulling him down or he didn't think to let go even if he had the chance.... but regardless, he recovered quickly and they moved on to another activity. 

Here they are loading balls into a vacuum pipe that sucks them up to a high hanging basket. 

When the basket is full enough they lay down in the ball pit and wait for the balls to dump ...

Four of them are in this picture.  Do you see them? 

There they are :) 

We ended the morning with a picnic at the mall's outdoor eating area.  It was pretty chilly (alright, very chilly) but I was the only one who seemed bothered by the weather.  Maybe the kids were all still sweaty from their play place antics?

Today I pulled out suitcases and started loading.  Tomorrow a friend is coming to spend the night with our children while Matt and I get a little time away (and a nice long night of sleep for me before the jet lag battles begin).  Three days and counting.....

one coin, two sides

So yesterday.  Oh what a nice day we had yesterday. 

I did well, the kids did well, home school went well, local school went well, Luke did well (hallelujah!).  I prepped a big meal (7 adults guests plus the 7 of us) and it went well.... see the theme here?  The kitchen counters were loaded with made from scratch goodness and the girls were working away at Chinese homework and the boys were happy and the living room carpet was relatively picked up when the guests arrived. 

If every day was like yesterday .....

And then just as quick as it could - today rolled down the pipeline.  I woke up scrambling, rushing to get Matt and the girls out the door early (he had a super long day and dropped them off before the gates were open!).  Then I had seven minutes of relative quiet (just me and Luke) before the other two boys were up.  And all day I just could not get ahead.  Luke struggled.  Home school was a train wreck.  The girls' school threw me yet another unexpected something-or-other.  We ate eggs and toast for dinner (me and the kids).  I ditched a bunch of the girls homework, just too tired to push through to the days' end.  The dirty laundry pile grew and I just left it sitting in the hallway. 

It's crazy how one day life can seem so smooth, the following day each hour can seem like a disaster.

Wonder what tomorrow will hold? 

news bits

Saturday night and not a lot to report.  But I do have some phone pics so here goes...

The kids and I are heading into our final week here in Asia before we move Stateside for the spring semester.  It's a big big transition.  Only Julianna has any true solid memory of America.  Lydia was 3 when we left.... I'm mostly convinced that her 'memories' are actually just re-countings of stories she has been told and pictures she has seen.  Isaac, well he wasn't even 2 when we left.  And neither John Paul nor Luke has ever been to the States! 

Plenty of new experiences on the horizon for everybody! 

Luke spent most of the week either in my arms or at my knees clamoring to be picked up.  It was less enjoyable than it sounds.  But in his defense he's been fighting a cold, and apparently that's reason enough to spend your days in Mommy's arms.  He successfully transferred the germs to me and now I'm the one who doesn't feel so hot.  Oh well.  If the rest of us can stay relatively healthy we'll call it a win. 

(photo by Isaac... hence the weird angle and my missing head... but I like it anyways)

Wednesday morning I took the boys to a carnival at a local preschool.  The highlight for John Paul and Isaac was the face painting. 

It was a lot of fun for these boys. 

And these two... Lydia and Isaac constantly side by side these days.  I love hearing them play.  Tonight Julianna is at a friend's house so Lydia moved into Isaac's bedroom.  John Paul moved out and is sleeping in Julianna's bed.  Musical beds here tonight :)  [John Paul naps in Julianna's bed about half the time and he thinks it is a BIG treat so he was an easy sell on the bed switch for the evening.]

Lydia and Isaac were so precious 'whispering' in the dark bedroom this evening.  Their plan is to wake up in the morning and 'whisper' some more before the rest of the house knows they are awake. 

Matt is online buying a few survival items for the big flight.  I realized that with my ancient computer's yucky battery (which lasts about 45 minutes, tops) I was seriously weak in the electronic entertainment department.  He just bought two MP3 players (ten dollars each) and the plan is to load them up with some audio books and new Adventures in Odyssey to help the time pass.  Our long flight is overnight (local time here) so I'm moderately hopeful that we'll see lots of shut eye from the littlest travelers. 

And I am NOT flying totally on my own with them.  God graciously provided two girls (Americans, recent college grads, friends of friends) who were traveling to the States at about the same time as we were hoping to travel.  We've never met, but they were willing to serve our family by traveling with us (no small sacrifice, let me tell you!) and booked flights together, so they will be on my first two flights.  Once we land in Washington D.C. we'll part ways, but MY DAD WILL BE THERE TO MEET US!!  So on the final leg it'll be me and Dad and the exhausted troops. 

roommates (it's their anniversary)

I started this silly little holiday in 2008 and it's just enough fun that we can't give it up. 

Roommate Anniversary (November 3rd) is the day we celebrate all the good fun that comes with having a roommate! [And we do it November 3rd because that's the day - in 2007 - that 3 month old Lydia moved in with her big sis, and they've been together ever since!]

It's not a huge put-together deal, but a simple celebration (simple is definitely our style) with plenty of love and fun.  The kids love to get their picture taken on their bed.

We have all the pictures in a book and they think it's great fun to look through it and see themselves growing up. 

[I'm still not sure what to do about this bed.... I mean, I love love love the bed.  But I had the walls painted yellow before I knew the bed would even exist, or that it would be this light wood color.  And now I don't like how it all blends together.  Matt is not gonna be a big fan of repainting the walls :) and I do like the yellow, so bright and cheery.  But painting the bed seems like a huge chore, and I'm afraid it would need many coats and start to look dingy quickly.  There are already footprint marks on the ladder and while on wood it looks worn and like 'character' on a painted bed I think it would look dirty.  Any ideas?  Maybe I'm talking myself into repainting the walls.  Shhhh, don't tell Matt!]

Back to Roommate Anniversary....

The holiday has morphed to include the boys' room too - many of the earlier Roommate Anniversary celebrations saw Isaac sleeping in the girls' room, but now that he has plenty of brothers we are solidly a boys room - girls room family. 

I'm not entirely sure John Paul understood what all the fuss was about but this boy knows how to have fun regardless! 

And here's the boy room...... No bed for Luke in here yet - he's across the hall, tucked in a corner of the guest room.  Luke is the one who is almost always up before 7am, and we like to dream that they all sleep til 7 (!) so we keep him where he won't wake up anybody else. 

The plan is for Matt to build a triple bunk for this room in a year or so.  It's a nice big (long) bedroom and I love all the floor space.  (I stood near the doorway for this picture - the boys' dresser and toy shelves are closer to the door and out of view.)

happy roommate anniversary to all four of you!  May your relationships be filled with joy and fun and laughter and plenty of character-building opportunities too!

Orphan Sunday - our story

I made this video at the request of some folks in the States who wanted us to share our story as part of Orphan Sunday at FEFC.

Orphan Sunday - our story (click here to link to Youtube)

It's not our whole story of course - but it is a glimpse at what God has done and is doing in our lives through adoption.

Adoption is one of the greatest, hardest gifts I've been given.  I'm so grateful that the Lord chose it for me. 

peace elementary update

Now that we have two full months of experience I am in a much better spot with the local school experience.  The learning curve was steep and the first weeks were tough (for me more than for them!) but now we are in a groove and the girls ROCK! 

I know they are my daughters so I impress easily but y'all.... they are impressive!!!  So thankful for the many ways God is smoothing this path for my girls! 

Big news from the past month at school? 

First up....  The uniforms arrived!  This was such a big deal and the first graders were thrilled to finally be in uniform like the rest of the older students.  Every student (1st through 9th grade) every day... in uniform.  No wonder the first graders were eager to get theirs! 

This is definitely a neighborhood school and there is a degree of pride that comes with wearing the uniform.  In the mornings children of all sizes ... streaming towards the school  (2000 kids!).  It's pretty neat. 

The winter uniform is basically a sweat suit.  The summer uniform (they don't have these yet) is lightweight cotton pants and a short sleeve three button polo shirt, same basic design and logo. 

Yesterday was the all-school sports contest and I took the boys to the opening ceremony.

It's hard to capture the scale of this event with a phone camera.  Every grade, every class marching on the playing field.  Hello organized chaos! 

Lydia held the sign for her class as they marched.

Each class does a short little performance for the principal and other lead staff members.  See Julianna in the second row?  It's pretty easy to locate my children when they are the only two blond heads on the school grounds :) 

And, I'm sure it goes without saying that the boys were captivated.  The loudspeakers, the marching, the gobs of children.... it all added up to a pretty stimulating event! (Here they are watching a third grade class, in costume, march after their performance.)  After a while I let Luke out of the stroller and he was like a mini-celebrity.  Picture groups of 7th grade girls squealing at his cute little white-blond-curls self strutting around on the side of the running track.  It was awesome. 



The fun continued today with running races and various contests.  But it's a weekend now and we aren't doing homework tonight.  yay! 

The homework load continues to rain down.

These are Julianna's homework assignments for the weekend.  She is supposed to copy it off the board into her homework notebook.  Sometimes we cheat and I take a picture of the chalk board with my phone :)  But 9 times out of 10 Julianna insists on copying it all herself.  She's a bit driven.  Neither Matt nor I can figure out where that came from. 

I'm guessing this will take several hours to complete.  I tell you what though, they are learning, a lot, quickly.  The math work continues to be a nice 'easy' part of their day (we are a year ahead in home school math compared to what they are doing at local school, which gives them a nice little step up).  But the reading, writing, memory work is challenging.

But it's not all work - they each have good friends in their classes (At the sports day I met the mom of Lydia's seatmate .... a little girl named He Zu Yi who Lydia talks about constantly!)  The girls talk animatedly and excitedly about the things they do at school, and seem to really enjoy being there!  So so grateful!