Matt's birthday

I know, I know.... getting behind in blogging :(  The days go so fast and I feel like they are plenty full!  Yesterday was one of those challenging situations - our water was out, we found out about lunch time that we didn't pay the bill (don't laugh - it's hardly like they give you any warning, and often very difficult to find out how much money is left on your prepaid account.... the local version of "time to pay your water bill" = "we cut your water this morning and won't turn it on til the bill is paid").

So my helper went out to add money (it's a prepaid plan) to our water account, brought the water card back and slipped it in the reader - nada.  Tried again.  Nothing.  Got our local apartment management involved.  They said "give it some time".  Ha!  We called the water company, they said (essentially) "keep fiddling with it, try to make sure the chip in the card is smooth and readable, etc".  We tried some more.  Still no water.  Called the water company again.  They sent a repair man who changed out the entire water meter and card reader.  And, finally, we had water.  All in a days work.

Matt turned 35 on Tuesday!!  Our kids are big fans of birthdays (but still manage to have very low expectations, what a sweet little blessing!) and they were pumped and ready for the big day.  I think part of Isaac's delight stemmed from the fact that once Daddy's birthday is over he knows his birthday is next on the list (March 16th). 

We joined Matt and his co-workers for a fun lunch and then headed home to start decorating.  I made a chocolate cheesecake for dessert (Matt's request, took a little flexing on some ingredients, but it turned out beautiful AND yummy and the texture was perfect!)

Each of the kids worked on a birthday poster for the front door.  Here's Lydia hanging her poster while waiting for Matt to get home from work.

After dinner and dessert we had a little present opening session.  (We didn't think to take pictures til the kids were in their pjs!)

Happy Birthday Matt!  We loved celebrating your big day with you!!!

the tie breaker

We don't really have a pet name for this baby in the belly.  The kids call it "mommy's tummy baby".  Matt has, off and on, referred to baby as "number four".  I often just point to my belly and say "this one" :) 

Well, this past week it kind of took me off guard when Matt rubbed my tummy and said "how ya doing number five?"  The more we picture our family with John Paul safely tucked into our little home, the more we think of ourselves as parents of five. 

Five!  And with two older sisters, and two older brothers, this belly baby is our tie breaker.  Which way will the pendulum swing - more boys in our family? or more girls?

Probably 90% of the people who guess based on how I'm carrying say "boy".  I hear "all in the front, high, round... that's a boy!"

Exhibit A:

And I always respond, "but I've carried every single one of my babies exactly like this"

Rolling towards 36 weeks and it's hard to imagine that baby is going to gain maybe 2 (!?!?!?) more (!!!!!) pounds!!!!  oh dearie me. 

36 weeks used to be when we traveled - so in my previous three pregnancies I spent this week packing!  And yes, I am soooo grateful to not be packing up loads of luggage.  Instead, I'm working on my to-do list (still getting longer at this point) and trying to get the big three ready too.  Julianna was a new three year old and Lydia one short day past the 19 month mark when we welcomed our last little baby to the fold so in many respects this is a new experience for almost everyone! 

[Yes, our kids are closely spaced.  With the addition of John Paul it looks like this:
Julianna, followed 19 month later by
Lydia, followed 19 months later by, 
Isaac, and 22 months later, totally unknown to us at the time,
John Paul's birth.  John Paul will be 14 months old March 1st. 
Belly baby will *hopefully* be here before April!]
 
And this little tie-breaker belly baby?  Will come home from the hospital wearing one of these hats!

I''m not as convinced as the masses that baby is a boy.  But I also can't mentally commit to girl.  I just hover in the middle, curious and waiting.  Honestly, at this point after not knowing for so long it seems odd to me that one day in the not too distant future we will know! 

A little girl caboose to our current kid train seems almost two cute for words.  Oh I love being a momma to my girls.  Three boys born in three years... just amazing.  Matt said if baby is boy we'll buy a triple bunk, double the carpet padding in their room and hope for the best :)  And as precious as my girls are, my one (currently in the home) little boy has stolen my heart as well. 

At the end of the day my honest to goodness opinion is I JUST CAN'T DECIDE!  So we'll wait and see just what God has set for our family! 

I see the doctor again tomorrow morning.  Last time I went (around 32 weeks) baby was mostly head down, but in a pretty non-committal position.  He/she looked like they might change their mind and pull a little flip at any moment!  So I'm looking forward to double-checking tomorrow.  

fashion tips part two

Lydia is on a roll.  After yesterday's free fashion tip ("pink in moderation") she came prancing out of the bedroom this morning sporting these duds...

Today's tip would definitely have to be "stripes in moderation". 

Seriously.  LOVE it. 

fashion tips and more

Today was one of those days I almost lost my footing as a mom.  No doubt about it, pregnancy with #4 is a whole world different than pregnancy with #1.  Not only am I older (and wiser, of course!) and not only is my body doing this whole process for the fourth time, but I now have three other kiddos to love and serve. 

Feeling like I'd enjoy a brief moment of rest on the couch is much different than actually getting a brief moment of rest on the couch!  And the floor (always, seems like always) littered with sixty-five things that need to be picked up and restored to their rightful position.... well, the floor gets farther away every day :)  

Pregnant with Julianna the heaviest thing I carried was an overstuffed bag of groceries or three.  Pregnant with #4 and I still carry Isaac more than I probably should.  Pregnant with Lydia at the 35 week mark we moved to a new apartment!  Pregnant with #4 at the 35 week mark and I'll be glad to find the time to get the new baby's clothes moved to the right dresser drawer :) 

I told Matt that I was going to put myself on bed rest at 37 weeks.  He was not amused :) 

I have great days, days when I feel really good, but every now and then I get hit with a day when I just don't feel that great.  And today was one of them.  Two of the three totally bombed out any semblance of a rest time.  Those same two had been at it with one another all morning long.  Isaac had already created one entire load of laundry via a bad bout with the sidewalk chalk and our little courtyard garden.  It was the kind of day when "down time" consisted of a trip to the bathroom with only one child interrupting my seventeen seconds of peace and quiet!

And about 3 o'clock the fate of the rest of the afternoon was up in the air.  But we managed to pull it together with a snack (for me and them) and a bit of a 'craft'. 

And I'll be in bed a bit early tonight and "His mercies are new every morning".  And looking back over the day, there were definitely some great moments and a few fun quotables :) 

First up Lydia -  who walked out of the bedroom and said "I picked this white turtle shirt to wear underneath because I didn't want to wear too much pink." 

Pink in moderation, that's her motto.

"Turtle shirt" as opposed to 'turtleneck shirt' is one of those kid-isms I just don't correct.  One day, sooner than I wish, it'll correct itself and I'll miss it.  Another current favorite of mine is Isaac who always wants "extra cimmanon on my oatmeal".  And Julianna, who has very few kid-isms remaining in her vocabulary, but still likes to throw in "gigantous" as one of her favorite adjectives (meaning very very big). 

Another of my favorite moments was when Isaac declared "Dad is my best friend.  Then mommy.  Then the sisters.  Then the new babies."  He is definitely in a solid-Dad-fan phase and it's fun to watch and enjoy. 

So we made it.  And while I look forward to ditching the awkward belly and meeting our newest, I'm also well aware that things are going to get just a smidge more intense after baby's arrival!  Realizing that I'm about to add 4-ish hours of feeding alone to my day (not to mention nights) is enough to make me thankful for these "busy" days!  After all "busy" is going to look a good bit different pretty soon :) 

what now?

Lots of folks are interested in what our next few steps are - now that we know who John Paul is, what lies between today and the day we bring him home?!?!?

The biggest and hardest-to-predict wait is for our LOA - a very important, very official letter from China that we are totally set and approved by them for adoption.  [We already received pre-approval, but this longer wait will involve a more intensive review of our dossier.]  LOA wait times vary dramatically, so it's hard to know what to expect.  Quick would be two months.  Slow would be four.

After LOA most of our "hoop jumping" returns to the United States side of things.... another round through immigration approval (department of homeland security) and then a few more steps regarding getting a U.S. visa for John Paul (he will have a Chinese passport when we get him - the U.S. visa stamped in the passport is critical).

When all the U.S. steps are complete our file/paperwork goes back to China for one final approval (permission to travel). 

So, all this to say, our best guess is that we'll travel to pick up John Paul in about five to seven months.

Prayer that all these steps would proceed smoothly and without incident and all in God's perfect timing would be much appreciated!  And if you're ready to see John Paul's cute little face then pray for a quick LOA - after LOA we can start to publicly post his photo!

In the meantime these three are busy preparing for not one but TWO new siblings :)

Tonight at supper I asked "what are we going to do with our new baby?" Got lots of great responses like "hold it" "kiss it" "snuggle it" but things took a turn for the worse when Isaac suggested "tickle it".... it was just a hop skip and a jump from "tickle it" to Lydia's suggestion: "throw it up in the air".

Ummmmm, time to intervene :)  Matt stepped in with a firm "we are not going to throw our new baby up in the air". 

In the kids defense, tickling and throwing up in the air are forms of affection in our family!  But it was prime time for a good chit-chat on how tiny and fragile and little babies are and how careful we need to be!  Of course, this little one currently tucked safe inside my belly is soon to be the fifth child born in six years in our family.  Something tells me that he/she will be one tough cookie :)

there's a new woman in my life....

John Paul lives with a foster mom.

A foster mom!

Do you know how HUGE this is?

Throughout this adoption process I have loved listening to the song Narrow Little Road by Red Mountain Church.  The first line says, "I believe in the love of God.  It is an orphan's wildest dream."

I listen, and I pray.  Oh Jesus, where ever our little orphan is, the little boy you will bring to our family, protect his heart, keep this wild dream alive - that there is a God, a God who loves, and that love is partly manifest (desperately, imperfectly) in the love of a family.

Maybe you've read hundreds of pages about adoption.  Maybe you haven't.  Know this: God does miracles.  All the time.

Little ones who have never been held for a feeding, who have laid in metal cribs staring at white ceilings, who have never had a chance to develop muscles for sitting or crawling or walking, who have stopped crying in the night because no one ever responds to their tears..... these little ones are adopted.  And their new parents fight long hard earthly and spiritual battles to teach their newest child that there is love, and Mama-snuggles at meal time, and a whole world to be seen outside the concrete walls of an orphanage, and a strong-armed Daddy who comes in the night when you cry.  

And God redeems those ugly early years.  And restores those orphans to a family. 

For us, for our family, we have no idea how long or tough this attachment-to-a-new-family battle will last.  I am quite sure I am wholly unable to count the cost that we will pay as we help John Paul unlearn some of life's hardest lessons, which hit him hard, when he was two days old.  John Paul, family is forever, nobody will ever again put you in a box and walk away from you, we are here.  Forever. 

But we do know this - life with this foster momma, that John Paul lives with someone who DOES hold him while he eats, who DOES come in the night when he cries, who DOES carry him outside to see the sky and hear the birds sing - this is a GIFT!  Huge huge gift!  A much more lavish answer to my "keep his wildest God-love dream alive" prayer than I ever imagined. 

We have one picture of John Paul held by a woman - is that her?  Is that the woman who has loved on our John Paul since he was three days old?  Is John Paul her first foster child?  Her tenth?  Does she know that his paperwork for international adoption is complete?  That a family has said "we want him, we want to bring him home"?  That we are coming to get him and bring him to his forever home? We don't know.  

So I wonder about her, and grasp at straws for more information - and praise Jesus that where ever John Paul is right now, she is not far away.  That she has laid a selfless foundation of love and permanence that we cannot wait to build on.  That we will never underestimate the sacrifice she made.

matched!!!! introducing our newest :)

Yesterday morning we sent in paperwork to proceed with the adoption of a 13 month old little boy in Henan, China!!!!!!!!!!!

His name will be John Paul K******* and we will call him John Paul.  (If you're not familiar with the double name phenomenon then you need to spend some time south of the Mason-Dixon line .... it's seriously gotta be one of the biggest perks of being southern!) 

Almost three years ago when we first saw our Isaac Luther (named after Matt's dad) we knew that if God gave another son we'd name him after my dad Paul.  And sometime early in our adoption we settled on John Paul.  That was almost two years ago and believe me, there were days I thought we would NEVER get to bring our John Paul home.  So that we even have a picture and a name, to hear our kids say "can John Paul walk?" and "where will John Paul sleep?" .... oh my, to finally think that this crazy adoption journey of ours will end with a child in our home - it's a lot for one heart to grab hold of. 

After the final decision was made and the last of the paperwork emailed off to secure this step in the journey, after all that..... late yesterday afternoon I printed off multiple copies of the few pictures we have and packaged them as gifts for our kids.  A few weeks ago I 'randomly' bought some cocoa powder at the import store and decided that brownies would be the perfect extra-special dessert when we gave the kids pictures of their new little brother. 

So now we wait again.... many more steps between now and when we can go pick up John Paul and bring him home with us. Which gives us plenty of time to practice writing his name, and drawing our new family picture. 

And, yes, there are definitely moments when I've thought "is this absolute insanity, I mean, I'm 34 weeks pregnant.... what are we thinking?"  and then I remember that I am not the one writing this story of ours.  God is.  And though the story has strayed from the plot line I anticipated, I choose to believe that God's wisdom and sovereignty and power are perfect. And my wisdom.... well, perfectly imperfect.

So we'll go with His plan :)  

More details on John Paul and his story, and how it will intersect ours to come.... And I know you are desperate for a picture (and trust me, he is precious), but we've got a few more steps to pass through before it's okay for us to post his little face shot publicly.  If you live near my parents or in-laws, scoot on over to their house.... they've got some ready to show you!  Us too, of course ;) 

Isaac's first day

Oh my.  Another one off to school.  I don't think my heart is ever really ready for this.  Every mom is different (thank goodness!) but for me, this sending kids to school, even for a short morning.... it's just not my favorite.  I like them home.  With me :) 

But where we live, where we are, we feel very strongly that one of the primary ways we communicate love and respect for our host culture is to learn the language.  And for us, it turns out that it's pretty easy for our kids to live a perfectly English-speaking existence... sure, we have local people in our home, but there is no way they would ever spend enough time with locals to pick up language without school.  So off they go.... on a little love adventure with this country.  And their momma stays behind :(

And today was Isaac's turn - he'll be there two mornings a week, Tuesday and Thursday.  Lydia goes Tuesday Thursday Friday.  And my big girl Julianna is now there Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday.  Did you get all that?

The house felt VERY empty this morning.  Matt was low on sympathy for me - "Enjoy it", he said, "you've only got a few weeks before this little baby in the belly will make his/her appearance.... a few free mornings between now and then will be good for you".  

His first day was mildly successful.  In his own words... "I did not have fun because I was wanting you to come and get me."  And there were plenty of tears too (not at drop off but after, according to Lydia who was summoned to his class on two separate occasions!)

He's already told me he doesn't want to go back.  But he will.  His Daddy will take him on Thursday morning.  This is the number one reason Matt does drop-off, because he knows I would wimp out!  Even with the girls if Matt is traveling I often ditch school for a few days :) 

But it is a sweet little place, and the kids are happy there (once they get over the initial transition) and their language skills are admirable, their little friendships sweet to watch and enjoy, and they are - hopefully, prayerfully - seeing and experiencing that despite all our differences the same Creator God made each and every one of us. 

(In our family it's a huge compliment to be named "#1 goofball".  The honor never goes to me, frequently goes to Daddy, and Isaac is definitely most often near the top of the list!  Here getting ready to load up the bike Isaac was in goofball mode!)

So here's to our new routine.... two days a week an over-loaded electric bike and a morning ride to school.

And our adoption referral update?  Waiting on some information.  It's one reason I'm blogging now, killing time expecting a phone call before noon EST, which is 1am our time.  I think I'm about ready to turn out the lights and just be drowsy for the first minutes of the call :) 

Surely we will have definite news tomorrow.  Please keep praying for wisdom, faith to make this decision. 

where to start?

Many many thoughts floating through my head and heart.

We got home on Saturday early afternoon from a great trip (though lots of learning for Matt and me as we figure out how to do these kinds of things well, and I learn to single-parent through hotel stays when Matt is otherwise very occupied).  There was a stomach bug roaming through the group we traveled with, attacking children and adults alike, and on Saturday evening when Lydia started complaining of a hurting tummy I thought we were goners. 

But it turns out she might have just over-dosed on her spaghetti dinner and after a bit of couch rest she headed off to bath and bed with no issues.  Oh so grateful!  Now almost three days after any potential exposure, it seems that we dodged the bullet - and I hope I don't come back tomorrow morning with reports of someone tossing their cookies during the night!!!  Our kids are so stinking healthy I can hardly explain it - in all of 2011 I took them to the doctor a total of ZERO times!  [Confession: I am slow to take them in, and our doctoring resources are limited, so I tend to pass out a dose or two of Children's Tylenol and wait it out, but still..... zero doctor visits in 12 months for three kids under five, thankyouJESUS!]

Sunday was a lazy pajamas-all-day-long kind of affair, just what we needed :)  The big-brother-to-be and his sisters had a blast digging through baby clothes - Isaac is particularly possessive of this little sleeper, which he wore as an infant.  Most all of our baby clothes are in America, so Grandma packed up the earliest, most necessary items and sent a box - which the girls commandeered and are using as baby doll accessories.  Seems this newest little one will return home from the hospital and I'll be gathering clean changes of clothes from baby dolls around the house :)

And then this morning we woke with plans... which were somewhat de-railed when we got another REFERRAL!!!!!!!! Woo-hoo!  Just like last time, we have a limited amount of time to decide if this little guy is a good fit for our family.  Details limited at this point, but PLEASE PRAY!!! 

Still hard to wrap my heart and head around this idea that 2012 will bring two new additions to our family.  It's gonna be a wild ride :)  

day four

All in all, it’s been a very good trip.  We are in the mountains (so beautiful!) at about 8000ft elevation. Just fun to be in a new place with new people and the sunshine/blue skies/mountain views are like medicine for the soul! 

I took a few pictures when we were checking in for our flight on Tuesday morning.  Anyone tempted to glamorize our travel-full life will hopefully get a big reality check with these photos :)

I held up the camera high over my head and snapped this while waiting in line to check in.  Turns out we weren’t the only ones traveling that day!

Our precious well-traveled troops. 

I've been able to participate a good deal, more than I am used to, since all three kids can go to childcare for at least portions of the day.  And I spend my evenings sitting in the hallway outside our hotel room full of sleeping kids - but in good company, there are always more than a few other mommas out there with me :)  

the 15th day

Today is the fifteenth day of the Lunar New Year.  It's a big deal.  And the entire country celebrates with more firecrackers.  Ahhh, feel the love.  By day 15 the firecrackers are one seriously old story in my book, and I'm ready to move on to something new and different.

The very best thing about today? SUNSHINE!!!!  If you live somewhere you see sunshine every day, or even most days, or even some days, or even occasionally.... you might not understand how significant this is.  The winter here is foggy, gray, dreary, rainy, overcast,dismal, hazy - all that stuff. 

And a sunshine-y day is a BIG DEAL.  Way bigger than the fifteenth day of the Lunar New Year (okay, so that's not the most culturally sensitive comment I've ever made.....)

Matt and Isaac celebrated with a long afternoon bike ride.  Matt needed to go deep into downtown to find a shop to repair the screen on his phone and he turned the outing into a 'boy adventure'! 

adding air to the rear tire - Isaac wants to be right beside Matt anytime tools are involved!

The child's bike seat was a gift to Julianna on her first birthday.  All three kids have spent hours in it - today's ride was a solid hour each way.  Mostly through bustling cityscape - bridges and tunnels and honking horns and big trucks and overstuffed buses and busy taxis - needless to say, there was plenty to entertain the little man in back while Matt rode :) 

The girls played school and leaf collecting and water painting and even did a little gardening - all in the courtyard sunshine - while I packed and cleaned and finished up laundry.  Late in the afternoon all three of us ladies took a quick walk up to the local mini mart to pick up some airplane snacks for tomorrow.  We're traveling this week - the whole family - back on Saturday afternoon. 

And tonight before bedtime we lit up some sparklers, our little tribute to day 15 of the fireworks and firecracker extravaganza. 

just my family

I mentioned that Jill took great 'face photos' .... lots of sweet candid shots of our family.  So grateful!

Since our blog doubles as a scrapbook, here are a few of my favorites.  For me, and for our closest family, to enjoy.  Others welcome :)  

Isaac playing cards "on Daddy's team" - looks like they're doing a little strategy talking here, doesn't it? 

If this picture makes you want to reach out and touch those curls you are not alone.... in a country of one-point-something billion people with very little genetic diversity, this head of hair generates comments all day long.  And yes, lots of strangers, lots of everybody really, reaches out to grab a curl.  Luckily, it rarely bothers Lydia.  Maybe that's cause she's had lots of patience dealing with a momma who also can't keep her hands out of her daughter's hair :) 

Classic Isaac pose - intent, focused, on the floor with his cars. 

When she grows up she might be an artist, or a ballet dancer, or someone who works at an orphanage.  She likes to dress the part and would wear a leotard every day - even right on top of her pjs. 

And did I mention that my growing-up baby girl lost another tooth? 

Her eyes are a delightful piece of work, her cheeks always a smidge pink during the winter months.  Love this second daughter of mine.

Six just might be Julianna's best year yet.  She can start a load of laundry and bless the socks off of her younger siblings.  Yet still so young, so little, still my baby in so many ways - loves to snuggle up while I read aloud and wants me to stay with her at bedtime. 

One last shot of me with Lydia.  LOVES to be hand-in-hand with her mommy.  Loves to wear her big sister's (too long for her) pants.  Kisses my belly daily.  Can't wait to be a big sister again - and always refers to baby as 'she'.  Though if you press her on it she'll say "I don't know if it's a boy or a girl and I already have a brother and a sister, so both are okay with me!"

rare

These family friends that just left us earlier this morning, on a train headed north, what we have with them is just....... rare.  Rare in a wonderful way. 

Honestly, we don't see them all that much.  We don't keep up that well when we are apart.  The last time we were together was when Isaac was born!  But the way our families gel and mesh and match is just ..... rare. 

Matt and Matt (yes, two husband/daddy Matts) were friends in college and have much shared Asia history.  I could talk to Jill for hours.  The kids, well you would think we'd been neighbors for years.  Their Marian and our Julianna were both in tears during the departure this morning.  We adults all got a little teary too. 

Jill is such a fun photographer, so grateful for the many photos she took...... some of her shots capture just a bit of our fellowship.


The older six watching pandas.  Their sweet little Vivi was safe and snug in the carrier and one of our dreamed-of additions squirming in my belly.... We managed to attract a lot of attention just about everywhere we went :) 

I kind of like to call the below shot "the rehearsal dinner slide show photo" - we wondered together how many of these dreamed-of matches end up reality.  Honestly, if any two have a chance of tying the knot it might be these.... they were buddies the entire time (Julianna specifically asks to sit with Isaiah) and are so delightfully unaware that friendship with someone of the opposite sex is anything more than a whole lot of fun. 

These girlies slept 1 - 2 - 3 in a row at night, and played played played all. day. long. 

Think anyone in this photo is having fun?  There is a game of Go Fish! hidden behind all those busy hands and bodies. 

Oh the joy of having another set of parents to share the love (and cuddles, and work!) of our combined children! 

Red Light, Green Light. Marian calling the 'lights', a teeny look at sweet Vivi's head in the carrier with Matt and my Matt speed walking alongside the troops.  Despite the fact that Isaac's size and age disadvantage make him a guaranteed looser he LOVES this game and plays with abandon. 

Today was back to reality.  It was actually less of a crash and burn than I anticipated (feared?).  Isaac did comment at lunch "there are only four people at the table, who will sit in the rest of the chairs?" and after loads of Daddy-time over the past ten days he suffered the worst of the Matt-withdrawal. 

I was pretty tired myself today too - too much fun, I guess?!?!?!  This baby feels like it is squeezed into every spare corner of my womb with not one inch to spare.  Were they all like this? I don't think so.  Now solidly into the third trimester I see the doctor monthly and my next appointment is (hopefully) Monday. 

I'll be curious to hear his eval on the baby's position.  This one is very bouncy and jumpy, just like Lydia was and she did her infamous turn out of the breech position at 38 weeks.  I'll be glad to hear that this one is head down and hope he/she stays that way.  I am quite positive that baby's been back and forth from breech to vertex recently but it seems that in the past few days baby's settled head down.... but that's just my (very) uneducated conclusion.  At 32 weeks it's nothing to worry about, I know, but I am not anxious to have a repeat of the late late turning Lydia pulled.  For one, an 8 lb baby doing flips in the tummy is no cake walk (Lyds was 9 lbs at birth, so probably over 8 lbs when she turned for the final time!) and the doctor has already assured me that this one will be plenty big :) 

Updated belly shot to come soon.  I haven't been intentional about taking one and with all the winter layers you just can't tell much from the average photo.